generational leaders … ?

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up: 04/30/22; date worked on: 04/25/22

tag[s]: cited: creative thought

[Review ideas. ] This victim has a person following him around; who starts attending a secondary or something such as that school with him. The person looks familiar but the victim doesn’t quite recognize for sure where he’s seen this person before. The person seems older than him by several years; but states that he’s one year younger. The victim feels ostracized in life; and also at school since his “parents” don’t like him and spread this everywhere. Also no-one that is actually identified [as] being in his generation despite their declaration of same exact age [no-one such is around]; and these older people identify with his “parents” who many know to be prominent and unholy child-kidnappers; who pose as an unjust homophobic couple. They attempt to keep the victim away from cultures of the modern day; and though he is growing up in the modern day. They enforce many attempted arrests [sp?] on the victim though he isn’t really committing [sp?] any unjust crimes; for not following their instructions. One thing they keep requesting [review] is use of the victim’s identity and falsification of his gender to female.

Before he knows it, the only who person reached out to him at school; starts referring to him as a woman; or a girl rather. At this point; the victim is afraid for his life and is highly concerned about losing out on his goal of attending a difficult and most prestigious college. He is also tied to another group of kids his age who he knows in the future that are constantly on the news for committing violent acts against what they consider to be unholy and unjust authorities without paying any criminal consequences. The person who was posing as his friend is simultaneously stalking this group along with other stalkers and posing as their close relations; such as fiance. The main stalker turns on him major and starts abusing him verbally; as other people start laughing. At this point he temporarily adjusts his identity to being female; and then switches back to his (regular) gender identity; right before college starts. The stalker continues to follow him for decades and attempts to pose as his girlfriend though being male; and also pretends to have the same IQ and career as the victim. The stalker actually uses military clearances to overtake all contexts, concerning the victim; and spreading to all of the victim’s future social groups. At this point; no-one knows what’s happening but people notice the victim is missing certain days; though he almost never misses work.

diagram alone-ness
diagram goals

triangles: alone -ness + goals

advanced to triangular orbs: through orb power level triangular minor re-structuring and one order of addition

diagram orb power level: 60

Hiding : about the read, 

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also called: the blooming of iris-es (at least part one) (floral essays)

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

tag[s]: cited: creative thought; floral weirds,

by goura fotadar

date, typed up on: 04/04/22

You were hiding there behind the read

it was just to show me you were really there; and if

I squinted really hard; I wouldn’t miss you, altogether

Of course as I squinted really hard near the read, 

I wouldn’t have known for sure what you looked like

to recognize you elsewhere where I could see you full in the open;

in your regular states; in the way you were; as opposed to who you weren’t,

I would only know from the twinge of shade that I had seen against the red;

the feeling of what you were probably like

I couldn’t describe it; but I would just know it; for sure

I would know you this way; as well as; others who knew you in person, 

Nearby from the read I would notice there was a place where there were things;

yes; like such as items, that you wanted for yourself;

and then I would see from the read; someone had helped you and you had been

able to get those items for yourself,

and that though you wanted those things real bad to use: including to see all the time;

a type of closeness; that’s what was there in the twinge of shade; I guess, 

and those things, you could get some to give to others such as presents; 

that was called being a girl and a woman;

and right now, there was nobody liking them or disliking them or both; who 

she was willing to do that for, 

I thought if there were things in the background when I looked,

I might be able to see you or her better

but  the things in the background only worked a little bit better, to see you

I saw a bit more of the twinge of shade;

understood only a little more about you, 

key-term: size,

what I finally understood which I had been seeing all along 

was how you felt around the others who were nearby

they were so much bigger than you physically;

and that’s what you felt, 

and so what was there you could do,

all you could do was blend until it was obvious to everyone nearby,

just how it had been to you all along

that you weren’t really blending with them; these were those who you 

were un-blend-able with;

and I thought how about me; you could most definitely blend with me;

and everyone enemy or not or both would say so;

for sure, and this time: they couldn’t lie

in you a twinge of shade anywhere

crowded background or not or both, 

and there I saw among the biggers

a twin to you; which was just you more ordinarily;

you in an earlier phase of attempting to blend with those that were unblended to you;

I wondered the usual story of how they had come into 

possession of you;

oh how we all wonder this about the other

how did the enemy come into possession of me goura; and how hard I try to rid him from me;

but how he is confused that I am still choosing him; but I’m really not and I never will. any him that is enemy. 

I wondered if this would work for you: I know they were all around;


what if in your imagination; you said to yourself in a twinge of shade; you;

that you didn’t pick them despite their threatening size to you;

wouldn’t that have a chance of turning out better

then a great idea came about from the structure where you felt their size threatening to you;

you know this is the way you moved around the world or sphere or whatever it was called then;

the pre-space; 

the organization of them threatening you moved with you wherever you went;

and it was a bit scary; 

what if you could replace yourself with a made-up fiction person;

this was your realization of / called a moment of death. 

using the structure you moved around with; you could use yourself a twinge of shade within the structure; 

to find the made-up fiction person; since you didn’t really matter compared to what their threat could do to you,

you could use the twinge of shade meeting with made up others;

than you found the other; and of course he wasn’t made up though you had wished;

he had already replaced himself into the structure; and you moved next door to a larger structure;

where perhaps not all larger structures; but these ones were more controlled at threatening; and so now your blending was

singular alone sticking out un-blended; but this variety of non-blending (also such as presumed blending) worked for you. 

The original structure changed a bit since he entered it became more organized;

and so you grew up along with him next door; in your original structure re-shapen;

and that’s as much as we know about him for sure.

[ magna <X> replace digiRo to unbloomI ]

[accompanying music citations, review: britney spears, I’m not a girl, not yet a woman; daft punk: around the world]


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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up on: 03/12/22 ; worked on : 03/04/22 & 03/05/22

tag[s]: cited: creative thought

[part one.]

The victim is exposed to a group of guys; and-or other males that consider themselves to be above and-otherwise better than other people; and though this has been considered to be cliche; where he is from, this isn’t considered standard. This group of guys gets larger eventually ostracizing everyone else; and especially targeting the victim. They start to make strange statements, such as: “We’re going to have to move if you walk this way.” None of this makes any sense to the victim; and he also can’t understand what about them is actually everybody, else. Many people from this area; including the victim go missing.

part two.

This victim is often seen around other people that look several years older than him; such as one and two decades older than him. These people don’t seem to understand they aren’t exactly the same age as him; and start yelling at him; which seems to appear out of nowhere [r-bow assertions for a.c. r and co]; and happens frequently and also in public. The things they seem to be saying to him appear violent and senseless.

[consider a.c. m/r.p to res. of voice as t./r.]

Much of the references seem to be to gay sexuality and personally addressing this a criteria of being; [c.b.] for the younger individual victim. One application here might be for especially but maybe not for all v’s yet; and for this v; considering momentary stable inter-triangular such as situating an orb in this creation, of such.

This victim’s triangle, may be could be:

[part other.]

connecting the/these two triangles for assumed two different victims; here creating

one hypothetical entry to actual level of power/and-or

equivalency of orb.


level of power/ and-or equivalency level is … ?

a rough testing

[cited: brainstormers et al]

this orb level of power/ and-or equivalency

level is … : 40 [an assumed starting level]

at this point of verification . [why. econ.budget.point of poverty.]

starting something like combination and-or 2nd co-creation

at the main target, point

at this point; keep loca-tives and-or points ordered in combination

mally moilly

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by goura fotadar

date typed up, on: 030522

tag[s]: cited: creative thought

all the things that we saw were bright 

showing signs of brightness

but nothing what you would call it full of glory, was present in this brightness

most wouldn’t notice the usual cliche that something was coming and-or it had come

seemed (seamed) into what already was; 

but she mally moilly would know it you could see it in her expression on the sides, there 

and also there was some color matching 

all the colors matched together really well, 

but many think that was actually mally moilly trying to conceal what her deeper emotions about each thing were

you know, like she didn’t trust who was around to reveal her feelings through expression

though this isn’t unusual it was considered to be then

and one unusual color matcher did show up but it was in a deeper shade than the usual colors, 

and because such deep colorings of maybe expression and emotion were intended to be concealed by mally moilly

it looked more unusual than the others too but it did fit in;

and in the background there was one smaller and plain as the usual colors but it was a fake and it,

had a smaller unusual look to it but in plain color, 

and that made mally moilly content again because if ever her deeper emotions were revealed to people she didn’t trust, 

there was a fake cover up in the background that could do damage control for what she didn’t want to reveal;

to those she wasn’t comfortable with; and she would just rather them not know that about her

Eventually, the deeper color captured what had been done to her and the very thing that had been used; was

how she didn’t want to share what she was with them

In the middle of the the larger expressions in colors were things of smaller expression but with usual coloring, 

and at the bottom was the almost murkiness that could be seen but at this point, it wasn’t murky yet

and mally moilly really preferred it unmurky and worked on that as a strife

and some would consider well mally moilly what if when it became murky it was automatically a clean and or sanitized version of murky would that also work for you ,

Yester-year Tagged part two. & recall making da

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date, type up on: 02/19/21; date, worked on: such as 07/06/21

tag[s]: cited: creative thought, and proofs


civilized non-civilized

hemisphere to hemisphere

. . .

would be considered a volatile homicide attempt. In that cue of time; most elders only believed

that if even she : the main victim; met others her own age in the non-civilized hemisphere:

there were a lot of things; events she would miss out on from where she was from.

Her friendly mannerisms and congenial attitude were different from the non-civilized

hemisphere; yet they didn’t change much; and it’s a way to recognize her among the masses.

As the years passed on; she was announced to be married quite young to the same individual who had

announced a crush on her; this announcement was made to various people especially the victim’s relations in the civilized hemisphere. Except no actual marriage had taken place; and the victim had no awareness that such a thing was being announced; and also as described; at this point does not know the supposed marriage partner, personally. It sounds as a punishment of laying eyes; as in she the victim had seen this person somewhere; and that’s enough for him to decide . . .

As the victim, goes missing.

& part second internal


making dahlia

current context:

budget, space, enough


had, lid, ah

budget, space, enough

new floral name: haddilha to solve such problem

[and consider making formula with such]

map. this ashley.

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up, on: 01/02/21; date worked, on: 12/23/21

tag[s]: organization

places you have to and-or must go to. (items on a list)

  1. 4 boxes smaller of p.c. (a)
  2. 4-6 l.p (b)
  3. up-to 4 b.o. W. (c)
  4. up-to 4 c.n. (d)
  5. up-to 20 c.s.c.p. (e)
  6. up-to 4 c. of h.c. (f)
  7. up-to 5 f.s.o. a. (g)

order of the list:


>b, c, f, g

> e,c

note: c is wealth in this context

use (this c) variations of

this (a — g) including (this c (this c))

advanced order of map/list

>this c (a, d, c)

>this c (b, c, f, g)

>this (e, c)


connect to reg. order

this c(a–d



this c(b–c) this(f–g)

this leaves e out

so now

>(this e)(this c)(a,d,c)

>(this e)(this c)(b,c,f,g)

>(this e)(this c)(e,c)


. . that should be sufficient for now.

so access to wealth internally and externally comes from (this e) and especially in conjunction to (this c)

Yester-year Tagged part one.

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up on: 12/19/21; dates, worked on: 07/06/21-07/09/21

tag[s]: cited: creative thought

There was a group familial social scene that kept repeating. It’s a sentiment of culture where the “parents” were the ones mostly in charge of communicating and the children; if even older children defined by usual dating age as conceived at this point in time; internationally. There is a focus on one older child in one family who has decided that he has a bad crush on another older child in another family. He assumes the child who is concealed is also male like him; they are all covered up in overall garb of the outsides; and the only differences is the head-gear / garb defining religions affiliations. The older child-like figure has an explanation for why he has a * serious crush on the other; and yet no-one knows what his reason is.

a lot of folks overseas hearing this rendition of a crush believe what he sees in her as his explanation is an un-nice thing; they also don’t believe for sure he is an actual child; they think he and his family is/ are lying about his age. For whatever reason the victim never learns about his intentions for her; though she can recall seeing him there. Almost un-believable is the …

The victim’s family is related to and from a more developed place; but had told family and close relations they were re-locating to a less developed place at this point in time. Their explanation for this was unclear; especially since Dad was very well settled in his career/job. They decided they wanted to get away from it all: you know, all the responsibilities of the civilized world; to a place where there would be less to be responsible, for. It seemed strange as an explanation to their relations; but no-one around had the authority or power to stop this from happening: a reason for this was; that is for the strangeness: was that the moving family had a child under the age of eleven; who was growing up in relation to the civilized world; and happily.

In the modern day; here defined by a modern time cue of even the same year; moving such a young child to such type of difference in …


Poverty roundhouse

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: examining examples

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by goura fotadar

date worked on: 11/06/21; date posted 111321

tag[s]: lists; formulas

From empty containers; what’s left in sight on poverty budget for food.

now empty containers and/or empty wrappers

  1. cited: gamesa, arcoiris, marshmallow Cookies
  2. cited: pop tarts, frosted smores, lemon creme pie
  3. cited: Tootsie Roll, POPS
  4. cited: Gold emblem, microwave movie theater butter popcorn
  5. (barely affordable) cited: Trident, Spearmint, 42 pieces
  7. a few cans of cited: LEMON-LIME Sprite
  8. cited: KitKat DUOS: MOCHA + CHOCOLATE
  9. cited: BAKER’s Select GALACTIC BROWNIES
  10. cited: Campbell’s Chicken Noodle Soup

vegan protein nutrient formula over entire thing (or something) : in words (or something)

on this particular list you might add

formulas |

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up on: 10/28/21; date worked on: 10/27/21

tag[s]: cited: creative thought

This victim is stalked connected to strangely; the brushing of his teeth. People who live with him when he is young; stand outside of the room when he brushes his teeth; and stare at him strangely when he exits. It’s as if they have some type of religious belief connected to tooth-brushing. It’s unclear what time the victim is in; but the scenery looks at least as modern as the 1970s. Re: (per sequence) after each tooth-brushing if these are days the victim exits the home he is stalked at an equivalent length of tooth-brushing and at this time by persons he doesn’t


the meaning of cupcake

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date posted on: 10/16/21

tag[s]; analysis

this time, only what I could grab hearing, 

“16 in … days … time to make some changes”

“every year … a party … the same two people”

“… we hangout alone …”

” … expand my social circle and my horizons …”

” from now on I am identifying my goals and … “

” … that cheerleading squad …”

” … a real boyfriend; get married …”

” … starting with you …”

” … you tempt me and then … “

“I hate myself” 

” you are so seductive” (entry of appearance of cupcake)

act. mi. application: and after calculated potential eating period replace with a substitute for example a flower in image is enough

“ok one more quickie and then we are over” “forever”

cultural notes: the cupcake looks very large compared to most but not all current cupcakes and the frosting looks messy even for homemade variety; points to a different time; such as the past or future past,

“friday night at …” is now the name of the cupcake; connecting personal meaning/s and its: personal meaning’s (at least) parallel procreation act. mi. application: consider a replacement procreation step and non-parallel procreations

now mention (including in attention and or focused, appearance in this context)  of products in this sequence and-or product types: cupcake/s, sleeping bags, 

” … being strong and fighting back …” verification of act. mi. here and also motto for act. mi. (at focus but can spread and be pervasive to others) in this case of … 

why not ask cupcake about this by designing additional / s … ?

“sorority … pledge week” now “cheerleading”, “sorority” and “pledge week”, spread it by making lots of cupcakes from act. mi.

and perhaps don’t mention that or do; and soak out where as in hand out where and when

internal citation: seventeen magazine “plum lip gloss” (here: in products and-or product types in attention)

“hello kitty purse” (products and product-types, continued)

(cited: “POPULAR” Episode 1.05 Part 1/5 as accessed on youtube dot com on 101121)

so the meaning of cupcake in identity procreation matching product and or product-types demonstrated against others such in a certain specific way goes from cupcake: “sleeping bag/s “–> “plum lip gloss” —> “hello kitty purse”

and this is a translation of this cupcake’s identity procreation in this brief-ness but how might you consider reaching the cupcake back at each stage of product and product type


theme: what to do now and why

“sleeping bag/s” (cupcake) implies activity such as: eating in sleeping bag or right near that time

“plum lip gloss” (cupcake) implies activity such as: put it on after eating 

“hello kitty purse” (cupcake) implies activity such as: (strangely,) can you eat cupcake while wearing the variety you use of this

” … purse” (it doesn’t have to be the same as in the episode)