Mutual Experience Visceral

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

Date typed up on: 101318

tag[s]: reading notes, and art symbolism further utilized for welfare basic modeling


Source citation: Louise O’Neill, Asking for it



In this ya novel; the discovery of being good at something is improperly comprehended; where severely un-pleasurable translates to one being “seen … again.” cited p.102

So as a use resolution if one could somehow experience the lack of pleasure in eidher a continuum or some other way it would be [pe] possible to control when and if “seen … again.”


cited p.147 : “…, matching her cheap pink blazer.” This observation on its own is not necessarily useful unless to ascertain something of utilizability in this case of use it seems to comprehend us to deeper l’ombat knowledge of the liking obvious; which might be “cheap” or not such things are incorrectly used against (as) (others)(who-ever) to (unjustly) perpetrate onto.

As a note: *Emma seems not (in a quick flush of a read where certain details can be missed) necessarily described as comparatively poor to the onto-her: now (at present placement of the novel) but she is in often need of transportation as compared to for example her family that she lies among.

92918 cited: p.179 “ … I want to mark it, put a big black X on the date.”

Finally an explanation for “… X” ; the marking as an art symbol for supporters support —- meaning actual empathy & its translations & manifestations can imply social empathy: as in (in some way) we all went through it



[Guise of Friendliness] D.J. homicide notes, continued on; & t.f. homicide notes [:]

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[also in this form: fvppostingon10618]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project


by goura Fotadar

date typed up on 10618


tag[s]: creative thought, colloquial linguistics, comparative review, comparative homicide review, film studies, criminology thought, cultural conceptions of children versus “children” , combat counseling in actually




-a reminder more than one person with and using this name

-correlate deceased through unjust homicide [as in correlate here meaning combined index the unjust homicide deaths]

-identifies as gay [this D.J.]

-lives in the United States

but only speaks Russian

-has multiple obsessive [sp?] crushes or rather many obsessive [sp?] crushes

-frequently aggressively pursues his crushes

Accompanying music citation: Dave Matthews band, Crush



t.f. murder notes on 9.29.18

-partner has a *thing for disabled people [criminological linguistic analysis: slanted line]

-t.f. is disabled in some way

-partner usually refuses to be photographed with t.f.; but takes many pictures/photographs of t.f.

-t.f. is taken on many outings; and it is presumed that t.f. became disabled after meeting partner; t.f. spends a lot of time with partner + partner’s brother

-t.f. and partner have a sexually active relationship.

-t.f. doesn’t like partner’s brother but feels forced to be around him [forced to do so by partner]

-t.f. is cheating on partner

Accompanying music citation: The Hollies, He Ain’t Heavy He’s My Brother



t.f homicide notes more for esp. comparative review

-is lgbtiq identified prior to death has demeanor depicting this identification

side note: don’t forget comparative notes

-is female

-died in a large hate crime involving shouting and yelling from the crowd: such as the rumored cited: Rodney king [check news] incident-riot[s]

-was definitely disabled in some way [high trigger match of comparative set]

and treated as/like a child in regard of violations toward [examples include: don’t speak up, don’t speak out, etc. [;] yet it’s unclear about what t.f. feels prior to death/homicide unjust wrong-ed /perpetrated toward about]

Counseling from an actualized militia consented to perspective as review would be to communicate with t.f. about this prior to time cue of death/unjust homicide [theme: access to past]

-as in c.c. case, t.f. perpetrators involve a guise of friendliness but then run and-or walk into t.f. in a system (to t.f.’s body + mind) perpetration hoping … it seems; to reduce t.f.’s reaction at a final attempted perpetration resulting in unjust homicide/death

Existentialism target practice: hoping uh must be hoping so best qualified in this short time as hoping

Combat tag: use a guise of friendliness (within polar) who is using a guise of friendliness

-the location of the group unjust homicide toward t.f. seems as in cited: star wars; quite far away but local country as in something like New Hampshire

-there is an onslaught exceedingly of people with seemingly children nearby t.f. especially on outings of t.f.’s assisted in some through disability and in: near the time of t.f.’s homicide unjust, especially [the onslaught of children]

Example, applications hypothetical might be: when so-and-so is in unjust danger remove the “children” and children but don’t place the “children” with the children when you remove them

-this homicide unjust seems to be dated in a pre-disability movement era but within a disability region period [as in some knowledge of disabilities exists in/to general public].

t.b. murder notes / the at least unjustly dead revival: the new meaning of prom, … continued

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up: 92918

tag[s]: creative thought, lgbtiq hate crimes, gender and property, identity, time in astrophysics, uh; uh, hygiene, uh …, death ideas / brainstorming

[also in this form: fvppostingon92918]

on 92818, 92918

-one parent acts exasperatingly happy with matching expressions such as , as happened [s/ed] [to] toward C.C.

-primary father matches C.B./B.H. (the perpetrator’s) identity

-primary father believes himself to be very close to his romantic partner but practices public infidelity; and sees himself as a ladies man; that practices multiple sexuality versions of intercourse

-primary father is confused about his gender unlike t.b.; and isn’t sure if he is male or female; as a grown adult and usually rests before getting too female

-t.b. is the younger sibling; and is not close to her older sister; her older sister has come out as a lesbian; and at some point in time, t.b.’s parents decide that t.b. has to become a boy, and if even going through a gender change operation; because otherwise they won’t have enough [wealth]. At around this time, t.b. meets a person that she starts dating; so she starts going through the gender change process as she starts dating the person she’s met. She’s in a straight relationship but is going through the gender change process.

-t.b.’s name was changed to t.b. by her parents from a name that started with an A; (similar to other such murders of this type)

-t.b.’s parents hired a hitman, or hitmen; to kill t.b. as she moved through the gender change process … because they wanted her to move out; and she didn’t want to do it, because she owned the house they lived in; and it was the only form of wealth that she had. They filed a report that they believed it was their right to hire a hitman/hitmen since they had asked her to leave; and she wouldn’t leave; and since they had raised her they believed  the house was [now, instead] theirs …

-this poses the point and problem, that these “parents” may not actually have been t.b.’s parents and [this has, did, …] became(come) more noticeable at the time that she started dating and seriously dating her one romantic partner; …  that is they (her “parents) started posing problems when she started dating her one romantic partner; before that they didn’t cause too many problems, … based on her memory: there is also the possibility that she was grabbed from her actual family at some point, in some type of social situation (movie-like) and couldn’t recall because of her age at the point of time of grabbing; this hypo-jinx builds another perpetuating estimation of guess, which is the entry of elongated and public crime …




theme: do you know what a girl, woman is uh down there; the “librarian” stalker[s] is/[r] back again to kill more people with fake children; no I am you and they say this a-loud. Uh, I’m not dead; no offense to the deceased or something

theme accompanying music citation: life is a highway rascal flatts

(resulting dangerous and severely unjust homicide) directly correlated to the time sequence of dating her romantic partner this quarantined in time sphere with gender change enforcement – points us to guilt in the non-actualizing lgbtiq “community” and as opposed to the actualized and actualizing lgbtiq community


Questions to consider, investigate: what time period did the actual murder take place in [if even in stages], where is the sister; and how did the romantic dating partner of t.b. identify his sexuality. Also who got the house [after murder]; and as review: how is actual ownership verified [outside of titles, too].


Q/A. did someone specifically unjustly

Die, and-or experience life over a property, a house, wealth, their identity, other such issues; then/-an usually as just a basic review; they own it, and that too. . . &[and] is someone lying about having that unjust experience[s] without having it: then … what? [r you still stealing those such victimized [their] properties, identities, etc. [in as…physics: ] what happens next in term of existence/non-existence]

First idea: colloquial partial tongue

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[also in this form: fvpposting92618]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar/aka mara kudos

date typed up: on 92618, 92718



tag[s]: bizarre?, stream analysis, diagrams and outlines, swollen when in pain?, counseling …

– Pardon the interruption: there is a very disruptive group of stalkers surrounding me right now, just fyi.-

First idea. A counseling outline; semi like a recovery group instead: a group of non-illicit or non-illicit variety, … what effects the group witnesses when using such non illicit substances; perhaps keeping a record of some sort; and refer to the record; the point is an observational actioned anthropological response to what are the actual observed effects of non-illicit substance use. [Obvious: all participants would be oath(ed) into the facts that this is actually how they observe the effect[s] of such non-illicit substances if even externally.]


Second Part. Summary of cited: AD

Referring to source, citation: Atopic Dermatitis: Timing of Pediatric Studies During Development of Systemic Drugs Guidance for Industry, April 2018

-has to do with especially children.

-(Pay die: a trick)

-As usu-[i], pay attention to age developmental connected processing relevant to uh, “age”

-As usu-[i], continued: (what are you interested in?) what does it feel like: “chronic” so it uh refuses to go away …? [cited; the go away series on cited: kindle (amazon)] ; it preys on the young but will go for either category [of age][at least]: remediating question of comprehension: are there other categories outside of this group of categories that it will go for?

-perhaps connected to feeling (as above): when itchy = “inflame”(ed) [How does this feel, deeper]

Category assessment[s]: here “pediatric” reverse also incorporates in meaning: non-pediatric; perhaps in the obvious based on the recognition of the “sequen”-(ce) p(of) development: what if it was further transposed at almost to mean in incorporation also elderly; how might this remediate [bring it back to the center, thr point] the condition?


Sort of like Sam?

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up: 92118

[also in this form: fvppostingon92118]


   It has to do with rape.

Source, citation: Louise O’Neill, ASKING FOR IT

tag[s]: linguistic additions, film studies, computer science & rhetoric, criminology & astrophysics

on cited p.69: “His eyes darken, his fingers pressing into my skin as he starts to make circles at my waist, agonizingly slow.”


replace “starts” with stars and in something like code from this fictional like insertion into uh source fiction. [perhaps almost implied by the “circles”]

It only has the effect of a double positive

example: Sam “starts” to run.

replaced with stars is now

Sam stars to run.


Sam “starts” to rape Kendra.

(a different Sam) (why.)

(the answer is more complex)

changed to

Sam stars to rape Kendra.

This huge difference; think especially

film; might not fully explain the

criminology incisive [sp?] which is

Before “starts” is replaced by, with

stars … “starts” well still “starts”

and is dependent on the rest [of …]

to be a static and-or positive.

This discussion is also a proof on

potential energy and what the meaning

of potential actually is; of course stars have  (/has as a term) further p.e. than “starts” and this is perhaps claimed as obvious in the status online of below the ground to the other of (beyond) the sky. [at least for this planet]

theme: yarn

Accompanying music citation [again?]: Michael Jackson, Remember the Time

Imagine instead of order hierarchy


perhaps instead it is/should be




that there is/was an inversion or incorrect hierarchy; and this might explain the existence of injustice

. . . how might this go corrected.

Theme cliché comprehension: Oh my god! This is all happening because of my, yours, the imagination?




The Stethoscope

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar (aka Mara Kudos)

d-te typed up: 091718

[also in this form: fvppostingon91718]

tag[s]: while uh being abused, don’t do that, art analysis, bearing weights, book ideology, library studies, analysis of deployment


worked on, when then [the hen]: 8.25.18

reference citation: the Klee (that l’arte book) [to check out or not ]


unsure if this is a put-down toward the artist but reminds

me of some of

my own art from

this period [which]. In any case, image 13 on cited 13; when looking[-ed] at the proponent from table up: within minutes the top part of sketch seems [to] vibrate: pop out of the image … in additional case [I hope you catch my drift …] the drawing seems to imply a climb to the above

scented by the outlines of cloud mist

& then transposition of the first

Portion sketch from outside within

painting top fitting into the second

portion or bottom sketch

Then of course there is

a lot more like the obvious treading

on the climbing line otherwise you

might fall

in this case the sky

Determines it seems for us what

We can fall into being limited in

Harm toward us depending on

Sky as in astrophysics & entropy

All that wildness but perhaps you’d

Prefer in anthropological shamanism.

A new space?

In the meantime the

library is close-ing; I’m exhausted by homelessness and its connected ridiculous persecutions and including abuse; and I have to walk twenty minutes now to defecate with enough time to do so.

Source, reference citation. (13) on 13, KLEE, Edr. J. M. Faerna, Trs. A. Curotto

How did it find me in this library away from that library; it must be the cited: C.I.A. [hunt?][yay. right]/wr.



Notes a, sitcom

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[also in this form: fvppostingasof961891118]

by Goura Fotadar

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

Date: 9618, 91118

tag[s]: homicide notes i.e. is creative thought?, stream analysis (brief), lgbtiq society enforced posits, sexuality rights


Source, citation: Gilmore Girls [which one] disc 3, 6th season


theme: vague


The beginning looks like a murder scene; the only cue besides the mild lock-out and vague zooming around of the lock-out or part lock-out is a match to lgbtiq hate crimes; …

Vaguely, I recall from briefly watching snippets of this sitcom in the past that these two characters uh colloquially speaking: get together at least at some point of the sitcom sequence;

But in any case from the beginning of this motif; it’s clear that whatever actual reality that’s real this criminological [uh, thing] applies to the second appearing character in direct witnessing, was clearly self-and-by the other character identified as being gay. The gender is less clear at this point; despite the depiction of clearly one as male [2nd] and the other as female [1st in direct witnessing]

However, if you have a comparative relation; than [/next: then] perhaps as compared to the 1st character the 2nd is more male [and this is understood to be the case by both] and perhaps the same goes into the sequence of sexuality i.e. as comparatively; but this is only a perhaps …

Accompanying music citation: Tor Miller – Carter & Cash


Part Two. Outside of Sitcom


Unfamiliar people witnessed in other relevancy following individual deceased to work scenarios, and pretending that it is, was normal for them to be present at work scenarios of the deceased individual.

When penetrated by requesting assistance from higher staff at such scenarios, they either were killed themselves by the same group/and-or did nothing to help the primary v: homicide victim of this homicide.

Individual primary homicide victim identified as gay and was male, and had a series of partners that were all serious; then … at the approximate time that things were settling with most recent partner [/present partner near homicide of p.v.], the juxtaposition of this form of unholy toward lgbtiq terrorism took place [stalking veneration as described above]; and partner died during a gender related operation. [GRO] Primary homicide victim in this context: seemed unable to recover from synchronistic grief: and at this point he was killed by the group stalking him to his work scenarios.

[Parallel combat training review: with empathy for actualized clients; differing emotions either of deceit and-or of no entry emotional cognizance toward their perpetrators]


Grocery Store & Post Offices murders

[Perpetrators] They seemed unable to recall his name; and despite not being introduced to him formerly; examples: include translated to this time context reality interaction would be seeing them at the grocery store, repeatedly; and then their appearing at … victim’s work scenarios  [Primary victim seems to recall the stalkers being of/with clearly depicting unfriendliness toward him at the approach of theirs at his work scenarios, especially; in a personal seeming way; which left him feeling nervous to approach work.][Target practices would be enacting non-personal unfriendliness in general society interactional [practice]]

[Generalization techniques: work stress may correlate to such completed attempts seized by the existing entropy of such function in society. Deserves to be uh researched?]


Different Motif Operation Induction

This murder transforms the approach to love crimes : asexual {i.e. non-sexual} and sexual; … utilizing the experiences of lgbtiq deceased victims {unjustly deceased} to enforce the society reality translation of enforcing such attempted homicides [away] from happening altogether, the transposition of utility of lgbtiq such homicide experiences; perhaps needs to be operated on in context, examples; and further levitates the existance of the perpetrated upon victims. [i.e.]


Additional notes personal combat related: those psycho bitches are back at it again; their forms of heinous un-tolerable abuse; under w.y.’s uh “regime” ha. Who is the uh the ?

Accompanying music citation: j. richter at it again