trauma recovery, protected wealth
The tree itself, part (three?) .
[and also in this form: thetreeitselfpartthree]
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
by Goura Fotadar
date typed up: 121217
Source, citation, continued as in last posting: Better Homes & Gardens, December 2017
after that event; and so
on.
As almost an aside:
With the sense that such time
Has been unjustly deranged
And-or lost; in trauma
Recovery we may work
On an equivalent experience
As early class coloring; instead
Of pretending that
Such experiences worth
Of trauma non-reformed
Criminal charges, are
No big deal; and suggesting
No actual support of them and the
Experiencer.
Mirrors in ornament-
Ation with child enactment
Connection: may as a guess
Signify the experience of
Trauma so entrenching
the child even adult
Unable to notice its
Own growth, even development.
And so where-as for other
Beings, people: the mirror
May signify how they’ve grown: developed; and-or even stability of stasis; for the traumatized child
Or even adult; the mirror may signify the process of being traumatized so entrenching that literally a mirror be of no sight; … .
(The mirror may be a place of no sight.) As opposed to victimizing the traumatized by asking them to look in the mirror and observe what they’re too traumatized to look into; the symbolism of a drab cloth over a mirror; with the trauma victim at any appropriate enough stage for he/she/and-or gender identifier to describe in an exercise of self-reflection perhaps what is seen when looking at the drab-covered mirror.
In any case the trauma non-reformed criminal charge would be something like: development/growth trauma inflictor non-reformed criminal charge,
.
The tree tis self, part two.
[and also in this form:
The tree tis self
]
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
date, typed up: 121117
by Goura Fotadar
tag[s]: design analysis, advanced think tank magazines that you weren’t sure were such, art, counseling diagrams, and criminology research, trauma
globes in ornamentation
or otherwise to children
or perhaps anybody represent
in trauma: limitation
in access to possible
desired and maybe even
already gained location;
usually for living. I suppose
for a child or a child’s
story this could even imply
kidnapping or having been
kidnapped; without having
the chance to tell your
neighborhood? School?
Community? Even your
Family members? That
You were taken; and imagine the worse almost sci-fi type addition:
That you were replaced by an imposter that was nothing like you. I.E. using your name, identity, etc.
with the exchange of trauma criminal charge
would be: child kidnapping trauma and identity theft and impersonation trauma .
the object I’ve been un-able to identify and then called wand’s end: perhaps
demonstrates the power
of the magic of childhood,
observed; but not available
for experience; unfortunately
replaced with trauma;
instead:
this with trauma criminal
charge, might be called
something like cited: a
precious moments (find figurine)
charge.
12.5.17
As might be
Obvious; but is worth
re-iterating : the cited: precious moments, charge has to do / does with the moments of not just childhood but especially experienced perhaps then; moments such as coloring with your 1st grade class only to be ruined by someone like your teacher-like lead molesting …
The tree itself
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
by Goura Fotadar
date typed up:121017
[and also in this form: The tree itself 12317]
Source, citation: Better Homes & Gardens, December 2017
Date: 12317 the tree itself,
Looks primarily the
…
Crayon-like; candle, pearl-like necklace;
Star-; an object I perhaps have never
Been able to identify: especially stars
and bells; globes perhaps mirrors some of, and a few houses …
like such a motif. In an almost aside, have you ever noticed that what would qualify as a well-decorated Christmas tree; has almost nothing to do with but rather with how the tree is with ornaments separated into front, back, intermediary front, back … and so on .. this then provides the ornaments in observance
Themselves provide a perhaps
Sequential
Comprehension
Component.
Even an ordinary box of ornaments observed in placement on a tree may not; be justified in the extremity of close study as they are in a different observation ; and as a result: the unique complement of the ornaments to especially a well-hung tree in setting is perhaps a worthy reminder that the two [tree +ornaments] are connected if even in a niche of cultural and traditional history, for a while. And yet they can be organized and reviewed separately. In this decorated tree’s case; not having seen the ornaments, alone; when conceiving them seen without tree: they would, this set most eminently signify childhood. Right. The circle ornaments are like globes, such as planet earth’s current? studied shape. The shape I can’t identify which is almost tassel-like; might signify a magic wand … at the child level … and what else; the prison/prism like shape; a mirror, a balloon, and so on. The candle that is also like a crayon; the stars that here look like necklace belonging pendants; the hanging houses like houses; and the string of pearls-like to perhaps connect every object together; and those I think are perhaps only the main object child’s perspective: learn about globes, learn about magic wands, learn about mirrors, learn about crayons, learn about stars, and learn about connection.
12.4.17
theme: trauma tree
theme music citation: meat loaf I would do anything for love
If you were an adult who either was traded/trained in trauma depiction; and or one who had survived trauma; as a process of perhaps it’s called renewal or its equivalent: “story” of such can be
examined through child semblance ornaments conveyed in adult form: even at a basic charge level:
…
With a moving envelope to target the closer examination; i.e. examine ornament photographed even closer:
C.M. Review.
C.M. Review.
Part One. Posted as of 72417;
Tag[s]: criminology
\rough draft/
Part Two. How to begin a-once all c.m. order on yourself or your functional group working system[s]; to prevent inaccurate [in-…/] un-effective non-criminal but volatile and violent arrest of the accuracy of you [identity] and your career.
Theory basics and hypotheses: not all arrests are criminal or have criminal causes; if even you are a reformed or reforming criminal. In the other scenario; that you are a non-reformed criminal; all arrests and atrocities are connected to crime wrongs.
Theme [basics and hypotheses] music citation: The Cure Boys Don’t Cry
Scenario; The Cure to what happens if you are illegally court martial ordered; and you don’t know how to respond; and-or can’t remember every detail of your life: Remember the basics of your resume and locative geography [in a basic history].
By goura fotadar
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
Part two, Continued. Man[dated] internally. Rough Draft. Say, it’s fiction?
Non-infiltrating. {using myself brief as an example.}
Tag[s]: military provisions and non-militaristic evaluations; who is doing them; and how; legal debacles external overcome and overseen.
[A Repeat Maybe of some.]
a … Where all did you re/call growing up; and what was it like in quality of:
-temperature, seasonal temperature; recollections of allergies and at what age.
{I’ll use myself as an example:}
- New York and S.F. on the streets with my original family; and in lavish dineries in especially those locations and works spaces that they owned; or own. On prestigious college campuses; where they were doctoral students & students and or teaching faculty; but still in/on the streets and not in housing; [Extravagance in clothing and other knowledge based items or rather extreme extravagance.]
The provider of self-experience: wishes to acknowledge that the repertoire of prestige is not used to insult; and or assume that other educational frameworks are inferior; but rather how this experience was for some reason equivocally at that time; defined.
- Next among a host of child kidnappers who were highly strung out on illegal drugs and activity; and uncaught of high uncivil violence;
Next in Tibet and Korea; in self-assigned condominium style apartments and specialized dance and educational facilities.
- Mostly in the San Francisco Bay Area; in the ghetto area of a suburb without heat, use-able and a/c; without food most years; and with a tiny clothing budget; only being able to afford “free” books; and not always public transportation; without most of my original relatives; but not all; with access for some to elevated forms of traditional and especially group played sports [affordable]; and with lower access to non-traditional less affordable singularly played sports.
Briefly in *Sub-Saharan Africa as an effective or something like a cited: slum dog
Briefly in cult led centers in some part of *Africa; un-identified as a non-aslyum enforced member of a non holy un-religious dangerous cult.
Temperature in SF BAY AREA: where I was mostly: [Zone area specifics]
Cold to not that hot.
Never snowy; and not rainy that often.
No allergies until the age of 13 when I became *enforced into vegetarianism, for over a decade or a tad longer. Even without regular formal education development; high access to affordable and elevated forms of education, soon enough. After vegetarianism: allergies to milk and not to all dairy; and [to] all forms of grain. [Cured: mildly in avoidance through excessive stints of veganism][Finally effectively functional in practice cured through the expensive advanced version of a cited: Paleolithic diet.] [in Adulthood though the dietary curative modifications over vegetarianism exercised.] Extreme, high access to actually devote; and various faith and inter-religious communities and systems. Higher education unrelenting access and still affordable access. Connections to other higher education access; in other locale centers and with affordability.
C.M. Order [How to survive, personals]
Don’t play traditional sports; otherwise others won’t be able to afford them.
Don’t expect [a] formal education.
Expect Informal forms of higher education: college, adult school, community college, supplemental college, and all pertaining career-jobs; [work, work, work, work, work, work, …, ]
b … How many schools did you attend and where can you recall including various forms of primary school. Explain any stand out significance in training.
Ballet school through original family, and completion performance overseas. Can’t remember where.
Then More non-conventional Dance: Martial Arts Combat Central Asian Dance school when completed an, original father’s dance proof in final performance; specified training through independent tutoring in set theory and linguistics through original family and I think in Central Asia. [In Between Kidnappings.]
Then a private school in the Bronx, New York; where I learned nothing; but finished the 6th grade at age six. [I think.][Heavy Discrimination experienced toward myself and other children-kids from their parents and school staff; based on a.a and j heritage; neither that are mine non-culturally; i.e. these are not my race-religion heritages outside of through cultural exposure.]
Then kidnapped again to upper-middle class Bay Area neighborhood; moved into a property informed that my original family owned; one of many, and another one of my trust funds, stolen; by my child kidnappers; performed poorly academically except … or something like poorly in regular classes; but not in non-regular coursework or at all poorly in non-regular academic coursework. Turned a proof into a local bank; and moved my brother and myself and one adult who wasn’t allowed to visit or actually move in; into a condominium; informed that my child kidnappers owned the condominium in the ghetto of the bay area now; instead of me; and that we had to accept an adult, aged roommate. First roommate was anti-semitic; and repeatedly asked to molest me and my brother. Entered a gifted educational program that I petitioned for; and after three years at the e. s. level; felt college educated. Perhaps was; through national exam competency score ranges. Continued into then traditional school; and experienced the removal of most forms of formal education in school. Until roughly twelfth grade; where once formal school was removed I was ranked one of the poorest performing academic and in all facets including behaviorally students in my native and Sub-Saharan school districts.
Connecting Aside With Safety In-Tact.
Got employed at some food place, through anti-racist racist banter; and started remedial college; then switched to regular community college; was overall an above average student; both at work and school; transferred to likely the most prestigious university in the world; entered a forfeit year due to external and dangerous following ghetto drama … after the forfeit year; most grades or majority of grades remain unmarked in the wrong direction; entered a prestigious career after college; and then a specific prestigious educational program [or a facet program] at a less prestigious supplemental graduate school; after years of working; my brother died in combat; and somebody of the ghetto but not from it I think was still impersonating him; [Q. when I speak which brother do I refer to. The Impersonator[s?] continued to request I refer to him as my brother;] I was being dangerously threatened and stalked, and for the first time in my life threatened legally. I fled and entered the homeless life of my early childhood; I was then legally but vocally mandated? to return “home” to my child kidnappers who I had almost never minus a few years at community college lived with as an adult; and things turned a head; when they repeatedly requested again the identity of that deceased brother; and all those like him. Non consenting I was then falsely institutionalized and put through a c.m. as a civilian; they completely lost the hearing and told a criminal level many lies; and I was released onto the streets; perhaps never to return to a conventional housing system for me again; due to the danger inflicted upon me and society in general and risen at the time of my brother’s combat death by my kidnapped family. So goodbye to traditional housing and traditional work offices. [Something else is that what.]
c … Related to educational school and or something such like; what do you do and what did you do for a career. Start with your first paid or non-paid job, until now [present time]. Explain any actual discriminations as you might have experienced them.
[Pre-face: In Tradition or Something like tradition career facets]
[numbers in brackets represent age approximations of employment and or work completed]
- House, Formal Shelter, … cleaner. [9- forever? ]
- Swim Instructor in training. [14]
—out of country, till [17]
- Ice Cream Server and Ice Cream Cake Person and Distributor; Sub-Manager [17]
- Cafe Worker in a Gym; Involved Repeated Heavy and Extreme Heavy Lifting … [17-18]
- Temporary [E.S.] Heavy Lifting Food Server in a Cart to Hotel Rooms [18/19]
- A Series of Reception Type Jobs through parts of college et al [19-22]
- Research Assistant Positions Encompassing Primarily Engineering, Chemistry, Editing Proofing and Psychology Analysis, [22-24]
- [Intern to Consultant] Writing Work outside of College [24 to past college completion]
- [Consultant] Copywriter, Editing Person, Proofreader, CopyProofing Person, Fashion Stylist in Clothing Formality; CW-E-P-W, Especially as a consultant in Publishing and in High Academia and Business Publishing [25-28]
- Misc. Volunteer Specified Work otherwise not classified: Crisis and Suicide Prevention [22-25], [27], Helping others Learn American Speaking English [23 and a tiny bit at 25], Isolated Eldercare In Personal Contact [23, and then as needed]
- Crisis and Suicide Prevention & Response / Counselor / Manager Crisis Shifts [28, 29, 30, 31,][absence left off briefly at 31 …][then continued, 31-32][Left at 32 due to stalking and violent threats concerning the impersonation of my deceased brother and others like him; making up a story that was not believable connecting to the subject death so that my co-workers [some of them] would leave me alone and actually let me go to find safety.]
- at 31, [from 31-32] Elevated Alternative Meditation Instructor Through Independent [Self Run] Business [on the side, of other work]. Ran as 30% charity, 90% paid non exact charity. Population relevance: the severely disenfranchised elderly, and other such age; groups [recovering drug addicts, etc.; [severe] heavily abused teenagers, etc.]; but also for generalized elderly, too.
- What I do now, … uh. It’s not that hard to find it.
d … Actual Higher Education Degrees or Their Equivalent and Study GPAs;
B.A. UC Berkeley [Psychology]: 3.6
Near complete or like complete MA Saint Mary’s College of California [Counseling Psychology]: 3.9
Various training certificates: Elder Group Leading something or the other; I can’t remember what else; something like a string of technology certificates; and food service certificates; [no gpa]; community college coursework for many years; not sure but something like a 3.5 g.p.a there in that system
e … Drug-Alcohol Abuse & Mental Illness History: None; but mandated accusation as of late 2016 [and also legally in 2013] while situationally hostage by kidnapped “family” and also same for mental health diagnosis; fortunately or not; failed to meet the standards for both. [d-a-a and m.i.]
f … Criminal Status; Never committed crime; never been to jail; but too frequent high volatile police interaction often but not always group to one [me as the one]; starting in early childhood, going up till now.
g … Deployment Status: Never have been officially deployed; have never carried weapons anywhere or at all; and am of civilian status.
h … Recollection of original non-kidnapped family: of Jewish origin partially; I’m not jewish though; and of Asian origin; primarily central Asian the other part; or rather mostly but not just that circumstantial heritage; many brothers; and cousins; more than one parental adult; but one primary father. Many more men than woman of significance or male to female in family; something like 50 to 5 or 7.
i … Develop a wealth model to qualify wealth status per sphere sector. [Where]
Born with an enormous [how large?] trust fund;
Kidnapped repeatedly and eventually into dire poverty; without personal access or beneficence from trust fund;
Moved into middle class once in four year college; and stayed such despite working class pay until homelessness a few years, ago; now despite no residence with work compensation: I’m not sure despite homeless status and no money work; if I qualify as even close to poor. More like, compensated and needing still … ?
j … History with Authority Figures
Repeated Truancy with Majority of Designated Authority Figures; inability to comprehend majority of designated authority; designated codes of conduct and also; fall onto rules; exceptions to this interactional experience; examples include: repeated volatile arguments and fights; and belief in racist attitude of most of society’s designated authorities. Examples of truancy: tardiness; strong iterative speech; and deflecting body movement; non response in interactional inquisitions; and general violence exerting self-control. In general; over my: gong! 36 years I have found most not all authority figures to be a waste of space and time; and an unjust danger to society. I have exerted extreme self-control to never commit crime despite repeated unjust and violent exhibitionistic threats from most societal authority figures. Exceptions include but are not limited to some college professors and such ilk. It is my observant belief that most designated authority figures in society commit frequent non-reformed crime; and, openly break civil rights.
Recent Experiential Infringements include: Threats and enactments of tasering from “police officers” when I wouldn’t let them steal my stuff; threats to call “police” and “security” from public designated authorities when I would not break the law; and a general solicitation to use me as not just a prostitute but effectively a working slave. [This is not a joke!]
Related Aside[s].
——————————————-
X How to stay safe when assigned to society under the code of formal and incompetent authorities; Let anyone who makes you feel unsafe know; and even if they pretend it’s the other way around; be honest by of your experience of what’s happening; including in times of violent threat; in a society where there are very few public non-incompetent authorities; “things” are rarely as safe as they seem.
X Staying Safe Non-Weapon, Codes of Conduct:
If he-she gets too close to you: Shriek!
If he-she gets too personal with you: Say you feel uncomfortable.
If he-she get[s] … attempts to hit you: Don’t walk away; but back out.
Even if you trust them! Or think you do, don’t lend your phone out! Direct them to another evocative phone call procedure. You have a right to your safety given what is your actual trauma history.
X Re-evaluation of Basic Needs Based on Work Entropy and Without Cash Revenue:
-Enough Food; Fulfilled and ongoing fulfillment as of 7-17 [Three Primary Transports]
-Enough Clothes and Shoes, Including Catastrophe and Safe R.S.[s] and utensils [of R.S.[s]]; Just starting to meet fulfillment of regularity as of 7-17 [Three Primary Transports]
-More Petitional Actual Security of Belongings and Work-Related Belongs; meeting regularity as of 6-17 [One Primary Transport]{Hint: You have to find … f or F}
-Transportation Rights; Meeting Functionality of Modality as of late 2016
-Career Counseling?
-Health Insurance and Cellphones Fulfilled; and of fulfillment [but former not entirely accessible or conveniently accessible]
-Public Work Spaces; Still not meeting Functional Standards as of 7-24-17
-Diplomacy connecting to rest cohort groups is barely existing; with those outside of group pretending to be in group; and especially without need; keeping others of need possibly out.
.
.
.
k … Marriage and Dating History; in adulthood [after 18, only]:
Divorced after a short-term marriage to one of my college boyfriends; prior to that serious boyfriend; had another serious boyfriend in college, i.e. prior to boyfriend I married and divorced [in adulthood]. After divorce next boyfriend was less serious; and went missing. Dated one other person briefly, after this. Am currently unwed, not-dating; and qualified as divorced, unwed.
The graph looks like this:
[after 18:]
A serious boyfriend;
Break-up, another serious boyfriend-> marriage -> divorce
Another not serious boyfriend, who went missing? [Reported, the incident.] -> After missing, dated one other person and ended that non-serious dating relationship.
[More Defs. on Wear; The System of Where: A navigational tool that works in e-a ffect.]
- Built in the system of wear is the system of where;
- Convention would had you believe that where determines wear.
- But Intelligence of convention or else; would have you determine the effect to be caused in where by at least; wear.
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
by Goura Fotadar
date: 5817
Part one is above [for … ] Part Two is Below.
Case Scenario: Vanity;
Case Scenario: [Sub-Tag]: Jeans
date: former present time
I am most comfortable in most social situations;
[the phrase segment above; is not the entire statement; please read it through before “gunning” to any un-holy conclusions and un-clothing us all; again. No! that’s not a manifesto on how you might have the power to un-cloth[e] [how awful!] all.]
and this includes isolation socialization: when I’m alone and-or effectively alone; wearing jeans; because these were the only type of pants I could afford in higher than usual frequency past the age of 11 [until -?]. For some reason then; at the department and-or such store; sweats-sweatpants were more expensive than jeans. At present: outside of my grueling work hours; and study-maintaining my near perfect grades in graduate school: I spend grueling also; hours working out my body; it’s the only way I can relieve the egregious stress my lifestyle choices as an adult have included into my Way of Life. I know from even the personal stories of my workout instructors [but not just; there’s also personal experience of course outside of this example]; that working out and its effects on the body-form are seen even today with the still popularity of cited: Hollywood –esque culture; are seen as symbolization: identification with vanity. The problem is that I haven’t had a chance to re-evaluate my habit of wearing jeans often? Additionally, as likely can be guessed in order [to] maintain a fixative conventional atmosphere in the convention of Country Costa County’s culture; where I produce a lot of volunteer and graduate school work; [I work outside of county for money at present; in a neighboring county; where I actually grew up; impoverished.]; I have to wear jeans in the conventional sold style which is that they hug my body quite closely; not quite hiding my work-out body. Either I could hire an additional tailor; prior to wearing these where jean pairs [and or jeans]
[this the bold right above is a title: such as like as: a fashion label]
; where [no, wear] these jeans in a looser variety in a [no a] different social situation[s]; as I wore them as especially a teenager but not only; in higher loose pants then called something like the “sludge pile” of jean wear; when not worn that way; they were worn in highly used and even torn style; this is turning into a long statement on the wear of fashion in the target of Jeans as Pants; but it’s instead on the psychology of the socialization of fashion: utensils; and I really mean that; like a spoon you wear often; scuse me use often. I couldn’t possibly wear highly torn and or baggy jeans to my social situations now; outside of my workplace; where in the urgency of long hours of crisis work; we can wear nearly but not; everything. It’s time for me to take my career more seriously inside of graduate work; and comprehend that despite of childhood trauma where I had the most ineffective of single parents; who literally could not keep down a job; until of course I started working myself; clothing was part of this enormously un-affordable case load: including food, and health care, and tutoring; and coaching. Of course; my single parent and that s.p.’s friends-relations were too cruel to actually sign up for welfare and let the actual children benefit from it. In any case; it’s important that past passed trauma; that I really comprehend that I’m no longer a dirt poor kid in some ghetto portion of the county I grew up in; I am now instead employed for that county; and [in] the areas of: in connecting [both, to] law enforcement and social welfare; though of course as described primarily in life-saving crisis response; that instead of wearing form-fitting jeans in my current work-educational connected professional socialization groups; I might consider identifying more pant varieties in my not too shabby clothing budget as of course other outside of jean; pant options. As a side note: thanks to the area of training in counseling; there are a lot of flares going off; reminding me of also my past work in high-end fashion albeit temporarily after college. That work was highly educational for me and allowed me time to complete my first novel after college [undergrad.]; furthering my then career goals; that novel I at this time have still not sought out a publisher for. But pants first.
Food wishes; is this fiction; how do you tell.
Food wishes; is this fiction; how do you tell.
by Goura Fotadar
Date: 42917
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
Dedicated to my deceased dog.
For Trauma Recovery.
Tags: communication adeptness; emergency aptitude; computer science theory [abstract]; catastrophe criminal charges; as in emergency response
It used to be; the sentiment of food nearby created an efforted pike to drive away from and not on; like the water buckets or whatever those yellow glazers are that used to be; on the sides of highway. I always wondered about them; were they there for emergency use; like of course to avoid getting injured if you by accident or safety endangerment drove onto the pike; and the water protected you past those bags in some vehicles or not; and those cushions; from physical injury. The sentiment was that you would not be that badly or injured at all physically; and so neither would your mind, internally be injured? But what about the second noteworthy use of emergency; if you were really really hot; and or such in heated weather that wasn’t long-term survivable and you had to stay on-the road; until … and your a/c didn’t work quite right despite … would you be able to dump some of that water upon yourself soon; and if so would it cause those that might run into the pike again; unpredicted danger; if for example some bucket filler; didn’t get there rapidly enough; to refill the now missing water buckets.
On the second clause; how sure are you that those things when they used to be store water?
On the third clause; there all types of emergencies that are meditated upon; I’m sure without a solution being instead meditated on.
Final Clause? Tricks and gimmicks.
Potentially false assumptions of fiction and non-fiction: it’s the tone of language and not voice.
Side notes: how do you know false. End side notes.
Potentially … continued: It’s when the sentences are long or short.
Side notes of specificity: how do you know what it’s is. End side notes.
Potentially … continued: re-stating a word right after it is stated especially; definitely means fiction or non-fiction.
Side notes: this is boring. This is not boring. Your opinion matters? How do you know which’s opinion matters. End side notes.
3rd parting post interaction
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
by Goura Fotadar
typed-up, date (of): 11217
the skim of even a single page : as compared to for example , a single conversation and-or a single interaction ;
the retaining in this {arrow to} of what information it does not damage you to retain. skim.
theme: oh retainers in skim milk (ad-line)
From a clinical stand-point in
simulation : like a mental simulation
of a facet of cited: ptsd further
cited; some relatively functional
version of the cited: dsm
adapted to higher/hire : function : for example ; why might it
not be useful for one/me/you to
retain every cruel example expression
of an interaction with
somebody assumingly functional
yet hereby side(be, side): cruel ,
now; but perhaps at a later date:
reflect on with an ability
to re-collect (built in your
psyche) (somehow) the expressions
of cruelty that you
witnessed in that
interaction where
you didn’t partake
in the cruelty
now dissipated; and-or
another conversation(an)/interaction
where the cruelty was
not withered through
a purposed emotional
block such a football
block.
more imaginative : { the narrative}
perhaps also insert these
cruelty expressions into your
psyche at a previous date
than the cruelty interaction(s)
: hint; this might help you translate
the expressions sooner in-your-mind
to create the emotional stability;
stability of your social and-or
independent response i.e. healing
posting, theme l’arte: budgeting magic from : {trash} to memories’ memento not
mementos
cited: at whole foods
3 for $5 cited: gt dave kombu …
an empty bottle
theme, view: see the beauty
in it, and surround-inglike glass views,
glass-types
cited: trader joe’s dark chocolate bar
(with almonds)
wrappers
theme: with a liter, it’s also
translation a heat jar
at the bottom of the effectively empty
+ bottle
bits tiny of left – over chocolate
+ a piece of cited: kombucha plastic
wait & Store in abag , waiting to add more materials (arrow to)
1.8.17 then for the thematic art piece, continued: use it in the rain to help hold something down,
overnight; and in the morning fill with a few pine needles , seal and leave outside, anywhere; including a
wild-forest -like setting. { sorry no pie, ture, picture at this point : absent camera.}
back to main posting :
Here’s an example of why, akin analogy you could -might have to interact with a seemingly functionally cruel person for example: I currently stay-for rest, rest associated outside
cited, library pencil as a give – away : it’s a dark cloudy but characterized
as pleasant -ry before the predicated
ominous art – look ; interesting.
The Brief
Back – History
of – the Skim
and I love food; but can’t really cook, obviously; out-there. In addition,
when I had my own place I ate out a -lot; wasn’t a Big Cooker; but cooked
for now my deceased dog; to add extra jiff to his preferred kibbles.
A-one variety of meat I cooked for my now deceased dog: was/were
porkchops from Whole Foods; whatever their brand was at that time, cited.
theme: food and grief.
I picked up this articlepage cited: Cook’s magazine January & February 2017
regarding cited: (p. 4) “Pan-Seared Thick-Cut Pork Chops.”
upon somebody’s suggestion .
bodies’ (s) .
. cited: brainstormers et al(punc.)(?)
Y? The Why in this case I’m reading
a magazine about cited: cooking is now answered.
Here’s from a quick skim:
pick-up (non-cruelty i.e. toward myself; do I have trauma associated
with cooking and-or meals? and if so, why (later))
“pork chops” “good” “meal”
“supermarkets” “coming up short,”
“chop chop”
“what’s more, it’s readily available in most Supermarkets.”
“Flip Answer”
“meat’s juiciness”
“I decided to simply season the meat . . .”
“To get the rich mahogany crust and juicy interior … “
“a seeming contradiction . . .”
“The chops ultimately spend the same amount of time in contact with a pan . . . “
The Notice of End:
( & that’s all I had time for ; this Sun|day : the library is soon closed.)
More Reading Notes as a “Brake” :
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
by Goura Fotadar
date, typed up: 11716
theme: while I’m sorting (sorting) volunteer projects like an emotion’s computer program
- Source, citation: (at the menlo park public library) She’s come Undone, (by) Wally Lamb. This one again; back to the first page of the book; and it’s all about the election; “sort” poof! the names of past “major” politicians alongside a remembering; assertion: surely, the least political of all of us; has / will have a vivid(ity) of one (minimum) poli scene; like a brown bag that’s brightly marked in art, form! On the next page the main character or main voice narrator “see(s) (her) father . . . (in) . . . mask.” (cited page 4) Implied Knowledge; and also noting : as if or more like cited: INDIAN GRAY-WALL cited: childhood trauma her father was in performance theater cited: much ado about nothing
- Have you ever noticed the art on the inside of book covers; this one is much like cited: Taj Mahal Source, citation: the Great Glass Sea (by) Josh Weil at the same as (1) cited, source location. Who is “the Chudo-Yudo” cited : Ayn Rand and p. 1 of this main source; theme: Sounds a waterway
- Source, citation: “The Complete Stories of Evelyn Waugh” (by) Evelyn Waugh (at same cited location) cited p.106 : and it teaches how to eat. Assertion : by how (it) eats. (arrow two with turn form) (“Rile … “ d)? “Give me another quail and some more champagne.” Perhaps you can always tell a real reader by how (it) eats.
The Cumberbund
The Cumberbund
Art Notes (cont.): The Death Box #4?
tags: art notes, the death project/art, grammar inclusions/tips, art decorations, and how-to another way to make potpourri
for The Fictional VolunTier Project
by Goura Fotadar
date: 83016, 83116
the featurette of: the cleaning people and art charity
Then, since the new group of cleaning people were here; and of course, my relatives did not announce this to me; but as they are the rightful owners of this house, as I’m informed of it, I must succumb to whatever inappropriateness they inflict upon me?, until a few minutes past their arrival.
to see more slides, of the most recent images: see, slides 140-142, (cited, of course: voicethread) update: ’till slide: 147 in this set, I believe!
or
https://voicethread.com/myvoice/#thread/8018255/45007131/45563076
I had to move the thing, and somewhat quickly
and the glass props were also lost to the cleaning people,
and so the good thing though was that I have a few of my art pieces made to give away; and I was able to practice art charity, and hand them (the cleaning people) the “safety” rock which of course I’ve posted about, in this blog. yay! the opportunity, to practice the goodness (at least, goodness) of art charity
) (why the second, third paren?) A hint on grammar.
aging, the tea leaves in napkins. so I drank loose leaf black tea today and rested some napkins since there is no t.p. the napkins are no longer just being used for art creation, and of course; for “normal” personal hygiene care. the napkins rested on some unidentified kitchen oil which I had to add to pasta, to make it less gross looking; i.e. or more appetizing, they then with one of them storing the tea leaves; went into a stored sealed plastic container, and earlier today so; I removed them just within the hour, and sure enough they had turned upon early night into the scent of potpourri. how wonderful.
The Penance of The Base, Continued.
Back to the thing, they and a hair wad from my personal wash is going to go onto the base of the thing, which of course ; witch of course did get made stronger with all of the added paper remnants, but upon the sudden knowledge that I must move it, and “waste” the tiny bit of saved flour solution, and lose the glass/non-glass props to the cleaning people, because I just did not have the time to stave them away, before they got here. In any case, they were just washed pieces of garbage, and glasses, and one stone from the backyard; nothing to penance over.
note: I hope you “get” I’m coking here; I meant joking of course. I’m adapting coking now to mean joking, in case it hadn’t already done so, in term. And of course I mean that I’m not actually prior to the adaptation of the word coking, but instead; again joking; and of course I mean that I am not joking about the steps so here described taken further to complete this art piece, but rather in the tone of the description; I am coking/joking; and in this space that’s what I hope you “get”.
but of course which broke apart at the shift, once moved it; and before my noticing the break in sight, I heard it in sound, but there was a quickness with which I had to move to place it in the closet, and I stored it on a collected of hygienic trash(es) paper grocery bag (which of course I hope to use for future art projects); that I purchased before l’hostage situation had escalated; with spare change; though I hardly have had any spare change of recent years, as is commonly now-known, and I so hope. It begs to be defined in the context of the word years, what might be recent. For me, in phase observation, since 2013, I’ve hardly had spare change for the first time in adult life. It’s a jarring re-experience of a horror in childhood, at the hands of a sever-ely incompetent familial clan, and way past a horde of work, which additionally is “supposed” to stave any such disgruntlements in re-experience. But some of us are just born unlucky. Not that that must be the case?
After they were done in here, I moved at least that again, and saw the break. In any case, it’s still being worked on. But one must always wonder in art creation; if it would have turned out another way, when it is done; had that break not happened.
Here are photographs of its current state. But it’s night, and there’s only one working light in this room, in this designation.
I almost forgot to adde, that after, I had moved it again, and it had sat around for a while, I sprayed the thing down again with cited: lysol (found again.)
Recently, or more recently then; I strapped the thing down like a bride in taffeta and cotton with a cumberbund – l. u. I guess at ’tis point the taffeta would be the underneath layers.
and added in from a newly flour solution of paper napkins and layers of these upon the base and back, which is tough in material of flour and flower, a different flour; the latter in reference, I mean back.
But I also added one more cited: bounce sheet,
in its crest.
featurette 2: homeless dreams
; still working on the back.
the next mourning, go back to the above link, to see the slides past 142, that have been uploaded with regard to this piece, at present.
grabbed an egg’s shells and soaked it, egg/ and them its shells: in the flour solution waiting in the sink.
thematic builder/tagline: an egg and its shells.
the flour solution is a lot thicker at resting/sitting overnight,
I added the shells onto a napkin and then of course more napkins after they all soaked in the flour solution, and to the breaking base, which almost seams to break at each photograph;
and then I’m adding more saved from recent use loose leaf tea leaves this time spread out with flour and water upon the back, to add a toughness, to the now making paper: fabric.
which of course (they, the t.l.) had been resting in a paper bag, among other napkins, and heated tangerines, and mint leaves, to create again a temporary potpourri, another
nevermind, the bag also contained curry leaves; I s’pose I forgot all that I quickly grabbed thus mourning.
featurette: walking on egg shells
spreading out the tea leaves and folding more soaked in f. solution napkins onto the thing; sorry for the repeating,
until the solution was mostly used up
I’ve decided to add baking powder atop to help it form ; once photographed with baking powder, now-then added/sprinkled; do I dare myself or test it; (re-adapated), to photograph, again.
Cherry Pull Art Notes
Cherry Pull Art Notes
Other art notes for voicethread
Left-Over Art Notes
cited: The Fictional VolunTier Project
of this Death Box, D.B. 4
dates: 81516, 81916, 82016
theme: the arte / art is caught like a fish; but I peel bad for the phish (the net)
check out: slides 116 to 118 for more recent images , notes connected to this art object: or
https://voicethread.com/myvoice/#thread/8018255/44801741/45382925
I forgot to add, that I added washed out cherry pullers and dried (out) for weeks in an open medicine cabinet
the “thing” propped itself down on the glass elements of tool use
when I used leftover from another project solution to conserve time and effort and add wads of toilet paper with the solution to the back as photographed; adding support to the back
now it’s dappled forward onto the glass pieces as I face homelessness again; well in the more official sense and again; as opposed to just now has been the technical sense; it’s always an interesting sense experience in the abnormal definition of senses; this is eh uh the theme.
theme music (citation): katy perry general radio on 81916 hot young or something oh wait, I think it’s called california girls
I then made soap solution of what I’d made before: shampoo and aging flowers solution with water and then that into more water inthe sink and then added flour and wrung out in it it until soaped clean a used by one’s self napking ; but eh uh relatively hygienic
and then another wrung out paper product in cleaned.
on top
all of it on the back; and that’s wear we’re at now.
theme: it reminds you of a dress.
and then leaven the solucion in de la sinque to washe hande widh
in the waiting solution of flour and water and soap for days now while the object/art dries at this stage
add more flour waiting cited: bounce sheets, toilet paper, flour and whatever paper is tool-able for this type of project that you think could work and also add a cleaner to the solution at this point: I used blue color cited: amway zoom
on one cited: bounce sheet have drying a flower; in this case; yellow daffodil oops I think daisy, leafy … tea bags, perhaps coffee beans and perhaps ginger
load these on the back that’s at present facing up after a brief dip for some of them in the solution,
and add on dipped cited: bounce sheets, paper materials then start a dry drip onto of the flour material alone and then coax the whole thing with water solution again, and perhaps a careful fragmenting but soaking rub with an old brush,
then add more paper material; not too heavy isn’t a problem; in case you’re short on supplies,
and drip the whole thing from the back down, reasonably heavy from the back, until the tiles are nearly soaked with your fingers to essentially drench the facing up portion. (photograph at some stage of this process, near the end is complete) wait for it dry thorough enough to re-start the project
gouravolunteer 