The Death Project

Tree also means outdoorsy Part next.

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By goura fotadar

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

Date typed up, this part: 11218

[and also in this form: Tree also means outdoorsy Part next]


Date: 12.11.17

I’ve definitely seen such imaging at at least one candle store I shopped at; where I was fortunate enough to have the gift I bought packaged such. I suppose in terms of rest: the brown of the present wrapping is to signify the outside, outdoors ground or perhaps the ground to rest on; the piece part of greenery tree; as a living stem is perhaps to conceive that sleeping outside, living outdoors, even in homelessness is still a way, a method to live- Exist. Where in normal housing or pseudo-housing: security, stability may come from a certain type of roof and or physical quality of the structure; the string tied to fern/tree figment + box creates a concave view of an outside rest-live spot: with standing tree, brown/mud or something such ground: the string that ties the package (you, or scuse me the outside resider/rester)



(in identity)

(as in the placard of gift/present)

would the string

represent the ingredients that would be the tie of the spot:

a comfortable sleeping-bag type; a rain-proof tent or something; a temperature

sealing something ; a spare bag of extra clothes; an extra|space area for necessary for other things [temperature proof]; [would all of these equate] … to a string; in this sentiment homelessness is a gift for another; i.e. one’s homelessness; their homelessness ; your homelessness is a gift for another.

[examine the package in a to, from conception][to expansive [make] who it’s for] [consider how the tree is an address much like ahouse if even not accepted as one in  a regular way][definitions of address]


Source, citation: “INTO THE WOODS” from Better Homes & Gardens, 2017, p.48




The next part of the tree itself/ Book a

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The next part of the tree itself

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

By Goura Fotadar

Date typed up, this part: 1518

[also in this form: Later at one of our temporary kidnapped shacks I came downstairs one]



I believe our primary names were kept; our birthyear difference kept in the right order: but our actual birthdates changed to make us legally older; my race was kept my brother’s changed to mine; and our genders and birth-places were kept in-tact. [uh, I mean on paper documents et al]

But maybe one assumes I am non-usefully hallucinating and that this can’t be true! In any case

later at one of our temporary kidnapped shacks I came downstairs one-day to see my brother then approx. 3-4 years old with his hands tied with ropes: because of what a group of adult child kidnappers said: [was/is] his real ethnic race. They had already set-up one imposter at least; who was glee-fully watching as my brother was trying to eat dinner with his hands tied. What did I do at this rancid

discovery; I’d rather not say why hadn’t the 3-4 year old brother told me? We were quite close. Like a pop-song the imposter was screaming “Call me … (his name)” “I’m your brother now” Years later though the tie-ing up halted: my brother’s hands were permanently damaged by the ropes. The “parent” and such couldn’t remember if he were born with such damaged hands; but we could remember the shift from his normal toddler hands to his mutilated hands; and this was especially an identifying discrepancy; I’m sure with digital imaging it would be easy to conceal that: mutilation. But as the years in childhood went on; art became something me and my brother were not enthusiastic about; and it’s an interesting story of trauma recovery because I’m a non-paid in money artist, now. So much of art in childhood expected and demanded the use of one’s normal hands; without such a set; and with cognition of him missing such a set; regular art never became our childhood thing. [Well, regular art only; and to start with only, I wouldn’t want to fib and claim that I didn’t create irregular forms of art in my childhood; the type that was less dependent on the regular birth privilege of not being mutilated by abuse and-or emotionally connected to such mutilating abuse.]

In this case the perpetrators of such actions would be charged for both children one would be as described [charge: enforcing into violating physical deformity through mutilation as an unjust response to racism and prejudice: so the enactment of elevated racism and prejudice with the intention to create a depiction of re-generating undeserved homicide] ; and the other would something like match. (as traumatized through witness). [back to main:]

The star of course has been mentioned in the I believe the first set of this posting or something; and in connection to child trauma: it would precipitate authorities not believing in a child, or such child’s potential; and enforcing that disbelief to as: reality. Then; perhaps at least attempting to perpetuate this against actualized accomplishment


In the child the child turning adult, and the adult who used to be a child: and then in this case: the star is an extremely interesting reality euphemism; defining something like the reaching of an otherwise un-reachable a generally

stage; to still not be high enough for an abusive traumatizer : to sway away from the incorrect dis-belief a reality they’ve cemented perhaps such that the culminating child receives the message he/she/that is not capable of a thing of worth, substance, et al; even at the outside sky’s star elevation.

The thing about this ornament piece is also a reminder of the actual seen star; and how it might be possible to become enough like one; [or a?].

For example: in metaphysics or something or metaphysical counseling trauma, combat actions to recovery; imagine translating into reality what that actual star-like existence; like-stars existences; for the uniqueness of stars? would equivocate to in the non-sky version of the world. Likely equivocate to the translated reality version of star;

Would restrict the ability of traumatic abusers from infiltrating an in[n]correct disbelief reality into/onto and as abuse of an innocent victim; traumatizing; and after such trauma if the star-path is only then accessible and-or available for entry: it poses as an ability to eviscerate such incorrect disbelief

realit[-ies] for one’s self.

Usually, I believe: in these type of star studies: but can’t exactly recall you look for star qualities.

In definitions of solidarity; you might look at star similarities. You might for example write a translation formula; even; a basic one of conversion to general her[e] reality.


Outside box but coherent in relative knowledge; a

formula may be the conception of book;

The proof for book[s]; [as a comparison, perhaps]


12.9.17 The obvious thing would be usual structure or form of a book; as witnessed; in this case especially: a front & a back , and I suppose everything in the center or middle: something like a passage. When comparing like to stars: I don’t know my guess would be something like a reflection with at least first, and second incidence or sight; and perhaps between this [these] incidences and-or/and/or reflections is passage. If time were not relevant it might be instead the work it takes to go from 1st to 2nd incidence. And as a book equivalent: what it either —-à it takes to go from start to finish or how one flips from start to finish; or perhaps in some cases both: passages, version of passages; and-or centers are required.

I’m not sure but I think this would; noticing with the invention of book[s] be some beginning star-equivalent; in translation


each book while moving

from its front to back;

is an experienced passage

and-or journey; such as life, death, college, etc.;

a career, et al

In I believe the second version; if one wanted to transpire various passages and or journeys when entering the examination of book arts; a simple flip from front cover to back cover would encompass the flip as the center /passage



for that might not need to be internal

the situation may also imply retrieval:


Book a: incidence
/ 1

Step 1 [front cover]

Possible retrieval effective equal

To front cover sight such as book title

Step 2 external to book or this translated to reality star a flip to the back cover

Step 3 incidence 2/ [back cover] or retrieval possible effective equal to back cover sight such as back cover hue/. Main design or something.

The quasi-question and or relational question might be in another version outter space or something reality: how do you after incidence 1st sight turn or effectively equivalently turn a star over; and is that a modality of invention: strength

Art conception: book report

Posted on


[and also in this form: Art conception]

Date typed up: 12817,

i. Art conception: book report 10.7.17

2nd to 6th Grade Review, for adults too.

by Goura Fotadar

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

tag[s]: The Death Project, reading notes, counseling techniques as exercises of fictional to attention

 ii. Source citation: reminder:

Mennonite in a Little Black Dress

(A memoir of Going Home)

(by) Rhoda Janzen

iii. Elongated Summary reading goal: Write a book report for each page of book

iv. This is called the next in sequence in reading notes [as a protocol, … process]; and in this sequence set we don’t diminish and not use the first or such in the set.

v. Example: (from cited: page 1) the dying of limbs, and the subjective creativity of these in both consumption: use, and thought. Perhaps the beneficence of useful medicines and as their contribution to over-all the regulated versions of medical well-being. This then connected to perhaps, death and-or illness like death or death like illness. Secondary work note: useful for cited: The Death Project. On closer reading on second follow-up scan reading; past regular reading of text: a hint and request for “vaccination-“ for “breast cancer’’ and when upon ponder; broadened to all “cancer[s]” and also to all ailments upon such recommendation of health-manifestation: first page of examination: report.  On deeper removed creativity inflicted thought: what would be the dying of limb[s] effectively translated to actualized reality.

theme: health

theme music citation: rihanna diamonds

Something like crystal

Posted on


for The Fictional VolunTier Project

By Goura Fotadar

Date typed up: 12217

[also in this form: I was reading the think tank like cited]


tag[s]:  magic for The Death Project, trauma as a death-like existing component


theme: something like crystal

theme movie citation: there’s something about mary

Date: 11.30.17

I was reading the think tank like cited: Better Homes & Gardens, December 2017,


I’m not sure if in normal or usual popular culture; people are aware of its think tank like nature?

In any case the front of this one, uhm-uhm; as I begin or have begun or began; its study: is a tree drag queen.

as I glanced beginning initial study; through the magazine: I came to the obvious comprehension that a motif of this issue at least of this magazine at least: is housing and or housing-like scenarios.

In this level  of think tank: the question doesn’t come up; but and with all potential housing material ; What will one do if they don’t have


Aside: drug knowledge notes, cited: brainstormers et al 11.29.17

cisco -> illegal form of alcohol and or liquor


(back to regular discussion/write-up)

their own space; rather it says:

Look, here’s a way to learn …

Yes, learn about …

Things! That may have to do with: space, housing

Scenarios: and from that; perhaps

You can infer:

The way into housing-/space

Scenarios that work;

And housing-space/

Scenario segments

That work for now; and

Translate to the next segment

Right away in things that

Work as housing-space. [or-and, or working housing space]

tag[s]: arm, e, protocols


But when you apply perhaps the reverse model; perhaps each chose-n thing piece; informs you of how to have space, housing regular main reasons, may be:

Secure methods, of to rest; enough or expanded storage of things; bat not the aversion where that means removal forever; of one’s death?

Perhaps the solution is: the sight of objects at this of history connected to trauma:


The front cover Christmas tree and trauma: The Wrong Star; have you ever been decorating a Christmas tree; and every perfect star you receive out of a box or however seems like it should be at the myth of the top; hence the definition of star; the inability to see such in a … is perhaps one definition of

[picture not included here, or perhaps not yet included]

trauma. Notice the star a-top this tree; it’s not the variety that might fit the traditional definition of perfect at around x-mas time: as it doesn’t look pricy in the sense of expensive crystal or something; but it’s the type of star that both (having) (qualified) (as star) and not perhaps being crystal or something like crystal; it both has reached the top, and belongs to stay at top. Unless

I’m wrong about tis fabric here; in either way what’s seen in this context: is; and then this placement for at least this photograph’s texture of this star; … (this photograph implies belonging to the front cover of this issue, cited)



Is a reliant capture of who-ever is

Originator or such

Choice; and not just

A habit that happens to happen and that nobody thinks about;  of trauma experience, trauma survival, and trauma what we hardly have an adjunct word to create phrase for: something like trauma crystal solidified.


Theme music citations encore and repeats:


Schbert-Ave Maria

Pavarotti-La Boheme/ Pavarotti-“Nessun Dorma”

Wilco-I am trying to break your heart

Led Zeppelin-Staircase to Heaven

Paula Cole-“Dawson’s Creek” Theme Song


Social Dynamics through Art

Posted on

[and also in this form: 103117]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

By goura fotadar

Date typed up: 11217



Source, citation: Lotus Magazine, Issue No. 2, 2017, pgs.3-4

[2nd poem segment], E.A. Gordon, 6,971 Steps


Tags[]: analysis for The Death project, too



Of course about


Soon about

Life, also?

Since about the

Passage of movement.

In “hike”

About gender through

The comprehension of


Versus “one”

Type variations

Considers, tag[]s:

Social dynamics through art


And of course in gender what me might see, be described to;

May be pun to true

Meaning of.

within the first

Two commas

Are parts of gender

Exhibitive nuance:

“semen” “war” “truce”

Upon “ … sly betrayal”

We enter “hike”  “…”

Where we first have:

A proposition of

View from  s.d. perspective

And perhaps from

This perspective

We have the entry

Into the top: of this


Who comes

With is it

Like alliance

To “a grave”

cited accompanying music:

Grimes, (-human) kill v. maim

Human behavior, Bjork

Rag n’ bone human


and the opposition of

“human” to “woman”

i.e. suggesting

based on what we conceive

in culture of notion: “woman”

points “human” as being of to it; opposite.

It is perhaps noteworthy

Why this might be a primary

Method to measuring “woman” [cultural notions and perhaps in opposition to contextual, this analysis]

As another séance in this


“To hike is to be

Comfortable in nature, a one-to-one

Relationship.” And still:

“To hike alone without

Preparation is to be a

Woman wandering, either

Lost or batshit or both”

Lookup “batshit” and

How odd so; since

In case of “human”


Then; “is … comfortable”

Either as “woman” the “hike”

Is not “in nature” or “human”

Is really to it “woman”

a different species.

In the case of “batshit”

though often

Heard of

With reference to

Crazy when

Broken down to the obvious:

Bat shit; it almost sounds

Like or rather the response

Of fear at scared. Of course

Within the derivations of

Scared and fear; in any

Case; “to hike alone

Without preparation”



Of Look-up

Can also



In process


Is conceivable with reference

To the perhaps new frame

Of bat shit; which of

Course could mean

Batting poorly, also. In any

Case running to a trail for a “hike”

Might make belief if

In a severe or even varied

State of scare and-or fear.

And with reference to,  here “woman” may be

The species that experiences

Such; whereas either

“human” is socially dynamically

Protected against

It: in reverse:

“that is, the normal kind”

“To hike in a pair or a group is to be the pack kind of human,”

Or perhaps to reserve the moment

Of a “hike” for preferences

Of “comfort—“ ; in

Any case; such perspicacity  [sp?]

Is what differentiates these

Mythical versions of “woman”

And “human” if even

Based on the regular

Derivations of these

Perhaps at least contextual

Now cultural terms. In any

Case the sense of fear or

Scared as in bat shit

Might mean directs us to

The beginning of the poem:

And of course

Since it comes form

“woman” we finally have

The reason for the perhaps

Opposing woman nuances:

“semen” et al. In any case it is likely “a grave”

Of “woman” do you think

Due to that “woman” version

Of “hike” or do you think

The “batshit” of its any

Variant meaning is

What is caused

By the “grave”

Of “woman”




“D-F” [in reference to M.C. also]

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

and in this case also for The Death Project as part of the FVP

date: 10.26.17

by goura fotadar

[and also in this form: D]

poetry from source citation: notes from the dragon-faerie song on p.15 of Lotus Magazine

Issue No. 2 -2017

from source, citation: as identified above as of 102617

For this analysis: labels: as photographed and included above from citation: bracket: what might be the 1st stanza

bracket: what might be the 2nd stanza


I believe it’s about


why first it uses

the word

second: you/one

might brake-break

from the “whistle”

of life; in

your version

of “  “

what might be the

1st stanza, see

picture: declares

how to be?

or what it’s

like to be on

break from

the “whistle”

of external

to your version

theme: versions of rest [housing, not housing, …?]

theme music citation: adam ant wonderful & Madonna this used to be my playground

of “ “

the what might

be 2nd [see picture]

stanza describes

what is

this working

version of

the poet’s  “ “ [disclaimer: if even if derived away from actual reality/ experiential reality of real]

perhaps a side

consumptive notification

might be howis this

a both, a


D: “leaves”





F: “words?”




“more than vanity”






The theme-ology of Life

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Date: 101817, typed up: 101917

The theme-ology of Life

[and also in this form: theme ]

Scanning exercises and scanning as review


[for The Fictional VolunTier Project]

By goura fotadar

Similar to reading notes;

source, cited: Danielle Steel/ Legacy:

  1. “Awareness Effort”

theme : low grade awareness

scan a brief set of pages

[inserts knowledge of – … into your mind ]

Even if at first unable

To exactly recall what was

Scanned; as scanning is

Not exactly reading:


Remember: that there is hopefully

The opportunity to read again; if

Even not the same material or;

And have an actual reading

Experience; not to put down, scanning.


Death project theme: even if I die I hope to read again [and what about scan]


When scanning: if even never conversing with anybody: or if conversing with another: there is a steady body [depending on the scanned source [the source being scanned]] of information

or would be knowledge.


  1. “Process Entry” If the scanning describes a bunch of purple dresses; now you are aware of the “process” “a bunch of purple dresses” even if upon scanning you can’t recall exactly the purple dresses:

theme: how does it work?

 ->process: a bunch of purple dresses


so to begin sum :

choose an endeavor: here, scanning, in scanning choose or select a workable source or stream body ,

practice endeavor: for

example: scanning

-> Scan a sub-set

in segment […s]

-> Enters

endeavorer in

this case: scanner;

into process entry.


  1. What’s the purpose of “process entry”

Well using this source, citation: at roughly 3-4th rapid sub-set scan: we have an analysis of the sub-set a review perhaps of publishings the cover, with author + title, a summary of the work, early pages, a title page, a dedication, the beginning of work.


In this process entry; let’s say p.e. 1 of let’s say stream body segment a;

You / one might have to do four scans or so to find the word: “Dell” (if you do find it) : this portion /part of scan might fall into library science: even if the term –could not be found; in any case ; using scan review ; as in additional scan: the term is discovered

On title page in this sub-section perhaps gives us a hint about reality, the world, and even society; if even these three differ. You might reference “Dell” elsewhere and dependent on the time; be aware of its common regular notion to computers-machine variations in this cultural time.

Of course referencing it or looking it up might

point you in the direction also of a publishing company: which is also commonly known in culture.

Of course on look-up:

“dell” might also

Belong to planes,

Flower varieties … etc.

But in/as a review


p.e. 1 stream body segment a: (caught) “Dell”

even if “Dell” were

in this segment

variation and

not found or rather

not yet found on scan

you would have

p.e. 1 stream body segment

a: (uncaught) “Dell”


when does scanning

turn to reading;

and do you always

need to scan [in segment variations]