crime art

Bell & Brother

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Pretend all the variables in this death project exercise are fiction

tag[s]: the death project, interesting patrol notes, and writing assessment completions.

The David Bell & Lily Hawley, Incident

for the death project in/of The Fictional VolunTier Project.

By Goura Fotadar

Date: 3.27.18

[also in this form: Bell]


Upon the incident of a flyer labelled “David Bell” with this information released to the generic public it was scene in the public setting where the flyer with David Bell was released in knowledge to the public; the Hawley family from Uranus, showed up in relational time connected to the release of the flyer: and then started acting peculiar.

Though it, the scene is in a public setting: but privately owned; the Hawley family showed up piece-by-piece pretending not to know each other; but each distributing a projection onto the other un-related to him as if primarily it is/was his wife.

When the other projected upon this way, doesn’t respond in a familial-type relation; because for example: it’s not related to the projector and-or unfamiliar with; each Hawley demonstrates threatening behavior. To use Father Hawley, also known as Chrissy Hawley; publicly, as an example: if one in such a David Bell triggered response denies Chrissy Hawley his hallucinated, non-usefully and projection relation:

Chrissy Hawley begins to stalk them; calls a pseudo police of his relatives on the person[s]; pretends they have warrants out for their arrest, tries to rape them; forces them to undergo virtual torture of carrying excessive weights on each of their limbs and belongings; essentially forcing them to pull and push every body in the world’s belongings and bodies around; as if the person projected onto were a trans-mutative escalator; and-or an old school slave.


Of course what is claimed by them to be an entirely racially Black-Jewish family by itself: the Hawleys; dna tests verify the addition of also other non-navajo & non-asian varieties in this family; is known for the murder of their daughter Lily Hawley; who was murdered at one of her friend’s houses on Earth by two boys; both of she planned to have sex with in a highschool type orgy. It turns out the two boys were her two friends that were presenting as girls to Lily and used a virtual program to conceal their gender to Lily; with the consent of her parents. Lily, who was reported to be 15 at the time: her death; but looked much older non-virtually, was hit over the head by one boy; when the other lost his temper as she was smoking a cigarette and grabbed her wrists in a violating way, so the surveillance videos demonstrate.

She died shortly after being hit; and afterwards both boys sniffed her underpants; it turns out when questioned by a false police force; they believed that killing Lily would result in them becoming a new gender : non-virtually, female. Neither was arrested; but both were charged a singular gender unjust homicide; and including Lily the entire segment of that Hawley clan is charged with unjust societal rape.

It turns out that one of the boys was and still is named David Bell.

At present David and his brother are stalkers of the cited: C.I.A. around that public released trigger scene; and believe though charged that they in actual: killed the leader of the cited: C.I.A. because she is betrothed in rumor to somebody (as named in at least Saturn) from a different Hawley rumored Black-Jewish clan. Their interaction cues are then used to penalize more unjust crime.

Perhaps the reason Bell & brother have not been arrested; is because it’s believed by the rumored betrothal party also known as the head[s] of the cited: C.I.A. ; that Lily Hawley’s existence just wasn’t particularly anything.

In asteroid and or astro physics you might: still Lily either through virtual semblance and-or in the moments prior-to and-or built by the prior-to actions of her life [prior-to] [her murder].




The Intrinsic …

Posted on

[also in this form: The Intrinsic]

[for The Fictional VolunTier Project] [to post soon]

By Goura Fotadar

Date typed up: 32418


tag[s]: art form, code/computer science, advanced mathematics, cartoons and mixed messages, technology/criminology and porno catches

dot dot dot


Date: 3.22.18


I think this is called quantitative analysis [or however you spell that : it]

theme: why does ‘8’ stick out first to [me]?

Studying the first drawing believe it without noticing the second; after the intrinsic to 1st sight of the word “panels” within “find at least six differences in details between panels.”

Right above though not seeing second drawing yet:

Is what looks almost like the clue

word, “digits”

cited: clue

checking and evaluating that digits from an artistic blasé standpoint within one/1st seen drawing: “panels” you notice obviously the “panel-“ on fence as slightly variate-ing from another and-or next; a thing then such as “digits” of numbers variate-ing in slight-ness

by perhaps specific

cuts of the same scroll

on modern culture

traditional digits; and smudged differently to identify the comparative uniqueness;

in the first drawing  yet unseen the second drawing

This is a rough approximation:

of each “panel-“ of the fence.

The first like a pillar

The second abbreviated at the grass bottom

The third with an abbreviation and a bottom dash and-or hyphen; bottom as defined near grass

The fourth as a shorter abbreviation

At the bottom with a nearly mid-point gap

The fifth with barely an abbreviation at the bottom

Primary source: HOCUS-FOCUS, by Henry Boltinoff, Daily Post, Thursday, 3, 22, 18 p. 33

theme [1]: working on while the library “staff” and their “patrons” won’t leave me alone in a cited: C.I.A. building

so for example:

Untitled drawing-1

Created Regular Translated Example:

Untitled drawing


Part Two. Uh, reports?

I received this email,

With bordering on pornographic images; and I had a quick glance of these women, who were partially unclad; I was surprised that I hadn’t thought more deeply about such emails which usually get filtered into my spam folder; otherwise: I think in general,  the account provider can seize and freeze your or one’s email account; or so I’ve heard: experienced,

In any case; after college I worked for this creative agency or contracted for them for a while: they found me some of my contract jobs in editing,

and I had to interview for each of those jobs just as you might with a temp agency;  at least one job I interviewed for; that went through a bunch of people for the interview alone; and where everything was unclear, one of the women is somebody who I talked to excessively as designated by the agency, about a future placement job:

she’s featured here in the pornographic [email] mailer: of course the positions for me were all in editing;

but I suppose I should say what I think:

that the building I interviewed in, was likely a modern day porno center; and I was being asked something I couldn’t hear in normal words; but understood not to consent to in cues.

And the other women, in this email look familiar too; I’d have to think deeper about where I’ve seen them in person before; but I can’t for example be staring at the email at the public library; so perhaps I will photograph it [as someone suggested] and study it later through my phone.

I think this part is legal.

Regardless to say, I was placed at another company as a contractor for a while;  and so got another rotating position.





New book announcement in series, almost like new

Posted on Updated on


for The Fictional VolunTier Project

By Goura Fotadar

Date typed up: 32018

tag[s]: submittal of cited: f.b.i. reports, publication for free; publishing label, the death project, proof of deployments even civilian-style or civilian-style-esque, citations of front and elongated local with “police” battles upon their own invoking of Yahuweh, jokes aside, publication in criminology, race misnomers


On announcement One. In the area of identity theft and personal story connections to the investigations of such theft; is my new book. The first in the series. A couple of years ago; this series was set to start: and then there was the c-m, and robbery; and I think retrieval at least that’s what all the evidence at the end pointed to. So finally the first version of this series has started. It will be starting tomorrow for five days.

Here’s the link and image: cited: amazon and amazon kindle



On announcement Two. The extended cited: stalker alert. Has turned to continuation of barricades of me using public bathrooms, and men and women following me around and screaming at others in front of me; then right afterward pretending I did that and attempting to get me arrested. I have in this course another additional citation for being homeless; and I have no storage. Just today the “police” tried to tell me more about what I could and could not do about well anything.

I suppose it gets confusing about the conception of freedom in our country. Please see images of evidence or something such as that: evidence, identification of virtue, mine [uh].

Of course my Navajo and-or central Asian race is once again mis-labelled as white; no offense white people, but I’m starting to get really suspicious of how much the non-contributing to my work population is living off of uh me. The address; as many know, I am currently on the street; homeless; is of the local homeless provision center: where homeless people receive basic goods.


Oh do I see more “cops” near my cited: clearance; to go to the bathroom.

See this file to see the images, rest of: New book announcement in series



This Stream portion [part one perhaps]

Posted on

[and also in this form: stream]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project


by Goura Fotadar

date typed up: 22818




Source, citation: youtube:

Theme, repeat? : the clout of criminology

theme music citation:


tag[s]s: compiling stream[s], movies as streams partitioned, potential protocols start-over



entry: “officer”

combined entry disposed to at least non-entry: “fredricka bimall” or however you spell that name

as review: can the power of “officer” [which one, perhaps] OVERTAKE the power of “fredricka bimall”

to continue upon entry …

[i.e. the actions of f.b. may translate to no opportunity entry or unjustly dangerous entry to do an investigation; and this is the case for even some victims? Perhaps; so look for instead the case of victims who experienced injustice.]

stopped at entry:  unclear at first or something like first quick look if “officer” or potential perpetrator is hugging the door or both; so, don’t ask the name, in the case of this “officer” [uh, which one] of perhaps any potential perpetrator,  when this “officer” will be or has interacted with the p.p. [s] …

mention career facts or possible facts especially  of u. v. and also instead of name p.p. [s], when it can’t be requested in the case of this, this type of [in functioning] “officer” [s]

when there is no career: mention this that there is none instead

[t.b.c. ?]


Instead of Gossip, Personal or rather work-related Crime Report; to be adjunct, ed in my next upcoming publication and-or book. [i.e. if I don’t get arrested for being uh, what is that they are saying: wrong for society]

Posted on Updated on

————————-by Goura Fotadar for The Fictional VolunTier Project on 12918———— [also in this form: Instead of Gossip]


Addressed Now: To the Superior Court of Santa Clara County

& also to the Attorney General & Civil Rights Unlimited Containers

& regarding the death of my primary deceased brother, and others like him; [send to, places where his identity is still being used illegally]

theme: are eugenics projects real; can the dead be revived? [non-fic? reality, sci-fi advantage]


  1. Eviction Detainer

First the eviction detainer is illegal. I left the property I was held hostage in; as is reported and caught in a report:

Here identified


While hostage still as of late 2016; when I called the court, they suggested that I stay on property longer since I needed to be handed a legal document to actually be evicted. IN addition I was not a renter on property; where I was nearly raped and also repeatedly threatened with violent death. Instead I was a no living wage worker; hoarded mostly in one room, where those who held me hostage, repeatedly requested my consent to the use of my brother’s identity, who was at that time verified to either be deceased in combat and or missing in action; they had however been using his identity in a form of heinous identity theft since he were a young child; and now as a member of the united states military likely dead, they were even getting married in his name; and honeymooning so. The situation of his identity theft had become very public with imposters of these hostage holders and their family and terrorist connections such as the cult they adhere to: known as Satya Sai Baba; repeatedly publicly arrested for using his identity and not just in the years that he deployed overseas.  Next the hostage holders reported to me that they were living off of compensation for my no living wage work and my birth trusts as they were also child kidnappers of me and my brother [at least as the reported and identified to me; apparently convicted that no consequence Correct existed for their actions Wrong]; and wanted power of authority over my identity also along with what they believe what were my doj clearances. They attempted a seize maneuver of me with the local corrupt police department in Santa Clara County; but I think it has been verified that I have criminal immunity or something; it’s not like I have the clear ability to verify this any longer[?] And or if such thing existence exista.

IN any case; the man that is named on the eviction detainer; attempted to rape me with his coordinating “wife” in the household in exchange while he used and dealt illicit drugs with his “wife” and their contacts. He then interacted repeatedly with an imposter of my brother’s identity as if it were still my brother and the imposter’s as reported by them newlywed wife; requiring that I also identify this imposter as my brother. I filed paperwork using the same name of my brother which this imposter I believe is still using; years past my brother’s death and pretending of all things to be a non-civilian militia member who served purpose of service in action to our country. Perhaps due to this and or due to the fact that I was being held hostage; the hostage holders especially the one of were put on repeat one day public arrests and followed around by a white vehicle in the neighborhood where they held me hostage; the other whoever the real cops are were looking for; but for some reason could not find? IN any case, I put myself on a protective hold indirectly by filing those papers and instead was informed that I was going to be court martial ordered for my service to this country as a veteran. I am however not a veteran of regular military service in this generation of regular combat war that was the brother they are still impostor-ing. The police were unable to seize me so they forced me to go with one of the hostage holders to a hospital where I was placed on the protective hold for protection to my own life; and additionally court martial ordered without my consent and illegally; the hostage holders then tried to claim that I was an alcoholic who suffered from bipolar disorder along with the main staff of the hospital and that I deserved to be institutionalized for life my career ended. Otherwise, the hostage holders wanted to change my career from leader of the cited: C.I.A. to a caregiver for them and others as they chose; somebody they described who could wash them or others. Though I found this suggestion to be preposterous; the hospital staff and their conductors believed this was a very reasonable request. They also believed that I was hallucinating that I were a writer; and that I had no self-established with company support of any such writing career. They continued to deny that I had attended college and or graduate school; and instead continued in a form of unjust retaliation that I were had been institutionalized my entire life; and that I had perhaps only been held hostage; because clearly I did not know how to hygiene myself. They evaded the situation of my brother’s identity theft; or that these hostage holders were child kidnappers of mine, and in fact not even my actualized and or in other variety real family. At the end of the c.m. I was let go; and found myself to an estate given five years of estate: church living for the homeless needing protection and or otherwise disenfranchised from mainstream society in some way despite the height of their performance or not; and the child kidnappers and the san jose police department followed me there; despite it says in your court record, giving me an eviction detainer [which I never exactly received in legal form; and only recently checked to see if anything such bizarre were up based on a feeling; how absurd] mandating me to leave the property I was on hostage on; and they [uh. who is.] attempted to have me gang-raped. This was very non-entertaining to me and I fled to the street for sovereignty in my own country in essentially victimized refugee status; where they police continued to barbarically manhunt me cross space from food stores and yes I’d bet you’d like to know using my now cited: e.b.t card; of course in hostage, I was starved to the convenience of my hostage holders. I forgot just one necessary criminal mention, that the hostage holders also decided to let me know that they had some of my original relatives and members of the military also hostage; in locations I wouldn’t guess; of course I could hardly remember most of my original family; since I had been kidnapped with my brother in final attempt at a very young age to my new assignment, you might call it; or ours.

IN the last many weeks to months [in reverse order], the police have attempted sometimes five to 10 seizes of me per day; and this is from city to city in a proximity distance. Many onlookers knowing that I am obviously not an internationally known unjust and otherwise qualified unjust terrorist have not understood why. Well, here is the reason why: I am born into the position of acting leader of the cited: C.I.A. along with some other organizations; I am responsible for all militia enactment since the time of my birth through the mystery of being a cited: C.I.A. operative. I for example must decide who actually makes it to staff on courthouse, fire departments, libraries, and police departments, and anywhere really. So you can see that I did not consent to hiring such “police officers” and want them fire-d and charged with genocide of my identity: race, education, career, other training, actualized family and relations, and my general efficacy in for example the world; something it is clear to every surveillance video where they especially stalk and harass me with all of their unwarranted weapons simply outperforms them. I also want your courthouse shut down, permanently; and all of your staff to never be re-hired anywhere. You have demonstrated in my opinion severe incompetence and unjust support of an unjust and faulty nonsensical “police departments” and such bogus “staff”. Their performance is a laughing and public joke; which I do not find funny at all; and an enormous insult to actual police officers and not just alone.


II> [1.24.18] Criminal Citation for being a “Public Nuisance” and-or also known as homeless outside.

On the early morning of one of the recent days after a thanksgiving feast for the homeless; the weather had turned back to rainy start season. Having been forced from my former two rest spots by the cited: Menlo park police department and and their defense of two people pulling a gun on me; as I mentioned I’m a cited: C.I.A. operative since birth and also hold other militia titles; though I am by practice a civilian and do not carry weapons.

I was under the front part of the roof of the post office on Hamilton [Palo Alto] due to rain conditions, and the “police” approached me twice under these circumstances. Officer Enborg/Enberg also approached me earlier at the cited: Palo Alto Public Library’s park while I ate my soup kitchen/charity soup at one of that specific in location library’s park benches. He said that somebody had called the police about a woman yelling near some bridge that I had never heard of; and his partner said to him that they needed to strip search me because I was too tall to be a woman.

It’s true my height has varied drastically throughout the course of my life; but I’ve had many severe violent injuries during the course of my life [I grew up in a heavily violent home where I was regularly violently beaten with weapons and jumped indoors]. When I thought of how absurd this was; the request of a strip search of me while I ate soup in the park, and as a homeless woman who earns approx. $0.10/year for my 10-15 hour workdays approx. 7 days a week; the “cops” continued with Enborg/Enberg wanting to know if I owed any money.

The police identified themselves as being exactly like the cited: Menlo Park Police Department; on that night and then on the night of Post Office Incident; the main cop: Enborg/Enberg admitted that he clearly believed and understood that sleeping in front of a Post Office meant that it was a federal building and this meant that I had lodging? He was so sure that this qualified as lodging that he wouldn’t stop yelling in my face at is it 1 something in the morning; while a small group of onlookers watched; when I negated his false definition of lodging; i.e. he attributed that he was sure that sleeping outside that I had my own property in that rest spot; and surely he was more intelligent than me; along with this time his two other partners.  When I told them that this spot absolutely did not qualify as a house as he was describing and that I was not indoors in rest-nights anywhere and with accompanying inside placed storage, he moved away, and continued; with the other homeless people in the area. But first him and his two coordinating staff were absolutely obviously sure in the dimwitted ness of what does not qualify them and or disqualifies them from any militia role inclusive of police officers; that there was an essence matter of my height to be determined and that the only thing that mattered in this interaction were if Enborg/Enberg were taller than me. If you don’t believe me check the surveillance tapes. It was among the most absurd police interactions I have ever not just witnessed but also been enforced to interact in. I don’t think the police officers in the area and authorities understand that despite being homeless on the streets, I work about 10-15 hours a day and for pennies per year. This is a major and significant issue when you disturb not just my life, but also my work and sleep schedule to tote your own ego in an intergender beauty competition with me; that first of all I have not consented to. Your local cops have a localized extreme version of non-focus and something like lustful attraction crush on me; when they can’t get me to provide them with sexual favors; for god’s sake I am not a hooker; and if even I were their solicitations of me in the many variety are getting out of control; with “Officer” Mazon’s [M.P. but since Enborg/Enberg claims you to be the same p.d.] attempt to get me to give him a blow job in public and I just ignored and moved on from that situation; otherwise he was going to issue me another citation. [If you don’t believe me listen to surveillance.]

I understand that I have been signed up for modeling since birth as an operative; some of the many public images of me reduced in variety to assemble to the regular public; and others displaying my exact appearance; with my name disguised most often; but you must understand that these revenue to charity for the public and are not my fault that my image is used to pay for uh things; and never actually my own expenses. This I believe is a situation involved with the regard of the local police officers who keep calling me other names as they approach me; and literally won’t leave me alone.  It’s dangerous when their lustful conditions term them to cite and stalk me as if I were a non-reforming criminal on-the run. Instead I earned California state sheriff several years ago; on my old job in emergency response dealing with suicide and homicide; and this was my last regularly paid position with low pay soon before I soon deployed myself as a homeless person and such; and all of this as a civilian-like and with no weapons. I think you don’t understand that I was told from a much higher up outside agency that this position goes with me; and I am non-sanctioned though actually hired in this position; that means I don’t carry a weapon. This makes me the boss of all police officers in the area especially; and not the other way around. I was further told that I am the only singular CA state sheriff; and that this will likely not change; in any case you are driving around in vehicles with literally one of my job titles on them; and without my consent; while you attempt to charge me as a criminal and arrest me. I wonder if you organized-ly understand the tier system of work; and how beneath me the local police are in work competence; and how much off of my work and identity they are living. If you don’t believe me about making this qualification and working this title alongside my other work; why not check surveillance recordings from my old job.

Back to the night of the citation; the night continued on with the three officers from where I could see slamming one body over and over again of somebody sleeping who were homeless outside that night; attempting to slam another body, and attempting to molest the third body. As a result, I got on the phone and called the local police station; who told me that I was not allowed to call the police station; and hanging up on me; I made the cops stop molesting and slamming bodies around me; and they then issued me a citation. [If you don’t believe me check surveillance videos.]

Additional charges for these “cops” and their phone response team: are requesting my brother’s identity for their work; now deceased my brother was in a militia role at the time of this death; and his identity has been severely experiencing severe identity theft for the past several years; and on-and-off his whole life. Days before another “cop” from your force was present asking me if he could use my brother’s identity to do a job that he didn’t deserve. I said no. In addition; I must add; that I was kidnapped repeatedly but as an operative and not as a regular child who experienced kidnapping taken away from my regular family in cited: c.i.a. operations; with one of my brothers to go into my assignment family; but the others including cousins went to other families. All of my relatives are in militia roles whether as civilians or not; and more than one of them of the regular militia in addition to higher militia have had and are still experiencing,

Identity theft; along with of course lots more victims and in general.

When I called the police station to ask them to please ask their cops to stop harming and harassing homeless people unjustly; they hung up on me as I might have mentioned. The next day they said that they were going to put me under arrest for using a police number at all; the same story as the Menlo Park Police Department. I don’t think you understand that my position puts me at the highest level of power of authority; and it goes the other way around in terms of arrest:  I want them under arrest for their unjust violence, stalking, and in general harassment of various freedoms. It has gotten past absurd. I also want you to understand that this form of power of authority is non-transferable. It means that if I were to for example die; it would go with me; and not to some local low level barely functional police department stealing from the public and Society, at least American in general; that I have never consented to hire as anything especially for god’s sake, cops.

I also want a work charge against these “police departments” and connecting “authorities” since they continue to infiltrate my work and hinder it; in addition to doing the same with my existence and identity.

Perhaps of even further scrutiny all three “officers” admitted to me on the night of citation; that they were on illicit substances; I am already attending recovery courses for other illicit drug users; and these are actually mandated to recover from addiction, unhealthy and-or illicit; I can’t be harassed by people posing as officers and not qualifying while they are on illicit drugs in the middle of the night and especially while homeless on the street; it is ungodly to start with and is highly criminal of them in the variety non-reforming to end with.

I am livid that despite these infractions from them and their coordinatings; that you would further request me to once again to show up in court again to deal with yet another faulty police department in another section of the faulty justice system, and while I receive no payment for such reporting work. How much of an infringement of my worker’s rights.


Signed Under Oath to the best of My Recollection,

And must be affirmed and verified by actualized consented to checks of all surveillance pertaining to the incidents disclosed here.


Goura Fotadar

1.25.18, 1.29.18



Part Two of definitions of sur …

Posted on

Part Two of definitions of sur …

[and also in this form: Part Two of definitions of sur]

Dedicated to the identity theft and misuse of my brother and brothers identities, identities


Theme: sur … is now short for surveillance how society has been changed by moi.

Theme 1: Where’s my badge and field office; uh, aren’t you using it the singular version, illegally. Who is you.

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

Date typed up, this part: 12218


His excessive time; sometimes seven hours past the mandated limit has forced me to put him under public arrest.

The rotation of especially but not just the cited: marine corps assigned to keep an eye on him while holding him under arrest, public in rotations: he greets as if they are his closest friends and while he steals their belongings and attempts to steal their identities.

Unfortunately in the culture of our society the term pussies [plural] does not refer only to cats.

Based on the fact that he is often accompanied by another man who might be hi- romantic partner; and who depicts himself as a woman and often stands for extended hours in the front of the women’s bathroom mirror; and they otherwise gather around bodies, especially bodies using public computers: moaning and masturbating; while the former goes to the bathroom in his pants and not due to a lack of access and-or medical emergencies but in a publicly admitted-form of anti-Semitism toward anybody “he feels” deserves so:

the stage of marked dining table kill of enacting combat is coming up.

But first on today’s specific surveillance routine: the couple is parked extended on public computers; as my shift of surveillance has started: the bodies in between them and beside them have emptied out: proving my arrest rotation point. Since any surveillance rotation has started there has been no movement from the enemy-combatants; I of course am receiving no salary for this work;

the “librarians” are still false efforting in their fake breezy methods, attempting to surround every body and not quite everbody [can you understand this in physical differentiation] in the vicinity they might want something from, in more historic illegal court-martial orders of yes civilians, too. You know, anything: they make-up, in the defense of the art of make-up won’t make them beautiful or at all.

If you ask, they’ll say it wasn’t it was the military and the police and the fire departments; but if you were a cited: C.I.A. official you would be suspect of such blamers. First of all, where’s the evidence; in times of escalated terrorism unholy in the form of identity theft this beauty believes

[beauty : think knife sharp but old and cutting; and old doesn’t have to but could mean age, please refer to my recent fiction postings  if this is euphemistic meaning is oh so confusing on the actual meanings of such uh term]

uniform even if it says: “M.C.” (cited) on it; hardly proves any actualized role.


The Box Show, Emotional Analysis VI: The Sponsorship journey, continued.

Posted on

The Box Show, Emotional Analysis VI: The Sponsorship journey, continued.  

[or in this form: The opposite of alcoholism]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

dedicated to my freedom, as earned by me.

date typed up: 93017

tag[s]: the actual sponsorship journey; the reasoning for combat; the reality transitional process; and the death project for the fvp.

The opposite of alcoholism [continued]



In a box: I’m angry because I never got to hit back.


In another box: I’m angry because hitting back [physically] would have put me in jail.


In yet another box: I’m angry because those that abused me; continued their cycle of infliction upon me. [and drew in; others like themselves toward me]


In yet another box: I’m angry because; when I left the abusive nest; they continued to attempt to abuse me and others again without consequence.

theme: how did they find us; again. [hint: money]


In yet another box: I’m angry because they were revered as heros for being unjust and unjustly violent abusers.

[heros/ keeps from heroes?]

theme: what then actually qualifies heros.



In yet another box: To manage my anger: I’ve processed what works, and repeated another cycle of what works.




The proliferation of abuse onto identities:

In another box:  I’m angry because my brother is being impersonated past his death and past his service death; and that he was beaten in front of me and these became my memories, and that I had to invent non-weaponed combat drives; to aid his survival; because it wasn’t legal for me to tell that brother to pick up a gun; then.

Zany Hint; how is to, dead to living dead.


And so, on:

In another box: