Mutual Experience Visceral

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

Date typed up on: 101318

tag[s]: reading notes, and art symbolism further utilized for welfare basic modeling


Source citation: Louise O’Neill, Asking for it



In this ya novel; the discovery of being good at something is improperly comprehended; where severely un-pleasurable translates to one being “seen … again.” cited p.102

So as a use resolution if one could somehow experience the lack of pleasure in eidher a continuum or some other way it would be [pe] possible to control when and if “seen … again.”


cited p.147 : “…, matching her cheap pink blazer.” This observation on its own is not necessarily useful unless to ascertain something of utilizability in this case of use it seems to comprehend us to deeper l’ombat knowledge of the liking obvious; which might be “cheap” or not such things are incorrectly used against (as) (others)(who-ever) to (unjustly) perpetrate onto.

As a note: *Emma seems not (in a quick flush of a read where certain details can be missed) necessarily described as comparatively poor to the onto-her: now (at present placement of the novel) but she is in often need of transportation as compared to for example her family that she lies among.

92918 cited: p.179 “ … I want to mark it, put a big black X on the date.”

Finally an explanation for “… X” ; the marking as an art symbol for supporters support —- meaning actual empathy & its translations & manifestations can imply social empathy: as in (in some way) we all went through it



Murder Investigation, Notes

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[also in this form: postingforfvpon7218]


for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by goura fotadar

typed up on: 72118

tag[s]: cited: stonewall murders, crime catches, lines of detail crime, combat counseling specs,




Date: 072018

-known [has]; as N.M.

-has many impostors way past er; her death

-was known as a beauty queen in especially the area lived in

-was always unsure about her gender; and reported it.

-felt that she was in a different country than was reported to her; and felt there were clear signs of this around [in public]

-felt some of her body parts were missing; [had this as an intra-personal biological experience]

-relevant [ou] counseling suggestion from the future [as compared to the moment of the murder; and future doesn’t always work in sequence of numbers]: if n.m. could see an actualized doctor; and at least get her gender experience assessed and; treated if necessary; this would be an additional funnel to the / her [unjust] homicide and its coinciding rapes [prior-to].

scary theme: completed homicide entry to rape; so become immortal?

[stages of immortality]

-the name she was primarily known under: N.M. [initials]; was a name she was changed into using

[notice change, mild of write-up dialect] [coinciding with this investigation]

because her former name was difficult to pronounce for others. As her name was changed she was afraid that it was going to cause her to be violated in her body.  So the change was enforced, and not optional. The name changed to, was the name of somebody she had heard of; who had an identity she, N.M was uncomfortable with.



[another,] Movie Notes

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[also in this form: postingforthefvpon71618]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

tag[s]: while, the publications get ironed out; and while I go to court for being homeless; over and again …, go patrol science! , comprehension of streams, religion talk, reporting studies; pardon breaks that fragment especially today: sort of brain-dead




On: 71618

theme: while that bitch tracks me to see how loud my internal speakers are, uh.

First; the brief: what do you think about the cited: venom like trajectory that everyone sees through time, no time; against the cited: columbia like backdrop; does it [the image] seem biblical? The cue connection might be connecting the movie range; hard to imagine in like the comparative caste-system non-androgynous culture still just under mainstream, … but to the obvious actual and actualized religious scene; and this is how to purvey uh, any movie. Farther; might you apply this to any art form and any analysis form; how to understand the biblical/religious connection from such a look. And this iss –n’t to press for example any specific religious tradition upon one, an individual, or any such group size, … instead to comprehend; that [as in] religious knowledge through mainstream, stream availability.


Next, continuation of cues: the point of spider an actual, group of and such: is the out-stream of non-barren movement;


Then the beginning set to children; the point at which one usually learns versions of possible movement; Inter-personals: perhaps these children would be more interested or rather even more interested; because they are interested to a certain point; if you become their additional movement instructor and-or movement pontificator …

and in regular culture: what is movement instruction when even the children already know how to “move” well enough already

theme music citation: outcast the way you move



Next; ever notice; that at least this cited: mary jane;

Uh, since I’m not so recalling familiar with the comic strip, …

How she always looks like she’s had that experience just barely seen; of extreme trauma; and unfortunately including violence; you can almost see the contusions of violence acted out in acting depiction.

The scene of dramatic sight, watching, almost with the overlooking action of seen voyeurism; [a play setting within a movie] points to an unfolding truth; of looking away from the action of unjust [and its infliction] of trauma, … [connected to her morbidity in expression]

Dramatic Watch; in the face of this cited: mary jane’s

Emotional morbidity; tells us to look and not look away; perhaps then, this early portion of this movie; only uh, 6 minutes or so in; is the artistic manifestation; of how to cognize police-like and police reports.


Then the obvious point to the biblical; even using the traditional Christian like motif is cited: Mary Jane,

The character of Jesus [?] [and why not cited: Peter P.]; with the mention of a friend’s father

as in cited: Lord, the Father



Simulating D.A. Stream of Consciousness type: cited: Target, trip; analysis on cited: target & [you, how?] verifying *facts in “personal” stories, …

Posted on

for The Fictional VolunTier Project
by Goura Fotadar
date typed up/done: 7318
Note: there is not that function on this version of the public computer; and so you can’t access from … a cited: pdf version; today, sorry!
I was over at the sunnyvale public library; months perhaps a year ago or longer; and doesn’t mean that I haven’t been back since; sense
and two impersonators of two people I knew back in new york, …
recommended no, sorry those two people brother and sister through their impersonators who digitally savvy, cited: target; for the food purchases on your food stamp card; and for me on my cited: e.b.t. card while it lasts; and I continue to work as a starving artist; uh, to keep me from starving; I figure I starved long enough as a child;
when my “mother” couldn’t hold down a job; and her boyfriend didn’t think we [hint: we does not include “her”] deserved a penny of charity; but as soon as I could work for pay I did; and that sure stopped the starving; of course you can’t give up all of your art-work production;
just because society won’t pay you for that works; and that’s where the cited: e.b.t. comes into my life; a bit new in my adult life; keeps me from starving along with soup kitchens and beggar’s cash; which now buys me burgers; I didn’t eat much fast food, ever until
now; and it does really fill the stomach; like even when my tortured hand cramps up on creating digital art and plugging away at a keyboard; and especially I say; making the digital art … uh, but I could never give that up
I finally couldn’t get in the cited: target; because my body limp from exhaustion being a homeless artist; much like my parents, the real ones; and not “mom” and her boyfriend now husband; before me; and hey, maybe that’s how those real parents got so rich; … because they are and own-e everything in this society; which people think is free, public [just because you don’t pay everywhere you go, doesn’t mean it’s free somebody else is paying your way in some:form of wealth that’s obvious in the actual
definition of freedom; I hope for at least the college-educated and its equivalent population]; and or others think that I didn’t inherit [hint: no access other than general access doesn’t mean not labeled as inheritor]; as their premiere child; and what does that mean; it doesn’t mean my siblings and cousins and even actual friends et al didn’t inherit stuff from them; it means that
in asian culture at least sometimes there is a premier[no e?] child [who does inherit despite your uh racism] and it’s not really offensive like it is in for example in white or non-asian families; but we do have white people in my asian family; they are just though tribal white; or asian white; so the
cultural components are a bit different … premier inheriting alongside the others, isn’t uh for example: offensive.
In any cause: my body swollen from [as compared to] its standard adult component of near emaciation from excessive work-outs [but you could lose focus and not actualized perform on your job, and somebody could unjustly die; especially when you work without a gun] and no matter how much eating; necessary dieting due to excessive and exacerbating physical illness,
                        had peaked by large mass protruding from it; which wasn’t pregnancy but sometimes I joke about that; my work schedule was exhausting also before hitting homelessness about five years ago; in-and-out of captivity or hostage by “mom” and “her” boyfriend-husband;
among their conceived many infidelities of uh is it union
Soon; the mass took over when I stopped not working out homeless; because like how is that possible that didn’t happen; but you know; so instead: the mass took over by eating grain once again; oh my god, and sugar; the mass nearly expunged itself by paining me to death; and so cited: target became
un-reachable on my homeless, walking path
finally a couple of weeks ago; it was cut out: thank god! at least that physical health problem is on its remedy;
and did I mention that a year ago; for the first time I started smoking in my life; and it is exciting while homeless; although I couldn’t stench their stand in my 20s;
those are the only changes: in my lifestyle connected main: to homelessness: I now drink soda, smoke cigarettes, and eat regular candy bars; … I started the regular candy bars just outside right before homelessness; and
before that almost never! except on childhood halloween
But with cited: e.b.t. I still get to eat though grain included at whole foods;
theme: cited: whole foods
theme music citation: spacehog in the meantime [again and again]
After surgery I had gotten the chance to actually cramp walk-in surgical recovery to cited: target; and while my medication was being filled
I could uh, look around,
Here are brief analysis recommendations: cited: choker, gadget a lost forlorn present from my own childhood; is a needed useful art device and of course jewelry for both genders of today’s actual child, too; children, too.
all of the hanging sweaters that almost look and hang like shirts; which I wore around as spare non-boutique clothing additions to boutique clothing [prior to homelessness] are a still useful accompaniment in any season’s changing weather conditions [Oh, Whether]
and so are the hanging dresses; of a specific modality form: that I used to buy at other stores in that font. And when we are lucky show up in the hands of cited: handlers and or at clothing closets
And then of course; all the food-stuffs; and all of the education framed what are usually considered fashion magazines; and then also the dis-arrayed reading arraignment
and in consumer theme: notice all the bottles,
and I think that’s enough to notice which is the what this recommendation is for;
it’s more like a consumer utilisable art basic analysis: under art modification: Bottle,
hanging dress; hanging shirt like sweaters, choker gifts and practicers [and this includes self-gifts, too]; and the reading flash of like cards in appearance; et al

[Basic Review List of current regulating tools & the use of Summaries as if this is 6th grade college real early: ] The Aged Monk Becomes, …?

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project
by Goura Fotadar
date typed up: 62818
[sorry: this public computer’s version of draft program isn’t working well enough for a similar attached cited: pdf & as usual this is for cited: n.a.t.o. charity and such
et al]

tag[s]: career exhibition tools, career counseling, basic business modifications/updates/reviews and same for practicing economics, editing & actuarial editing/proofing,
fire marshal[l] quadrants, political hints, …

=You need a cited: board,
so if you don’t have one already; at least envision one in your mind; you want so-so and so-and-so for such-and-such-and-such-and-such-and-such
=You need at least one paper and-or digital handout no matter how brief outlining the uh, situation/circumstance; and digital only; is just fine/works.
=You need the equivalent of a Truth Validation Test and Actualized/Actual verifier of a such; sounds like a serious on-call and response job that is
really like sound; ing such as Actuary; and yes, this is not poetry [I mean the words].

= Then and or before then; you need a questioning sequence brief or elongated or sequenced with both and such, … about the backdrop and-or about the situation/circumstance
= You want at least the target and or main entrepreneur[‘s] self-declared self-belief about proven repute-ability whether “regular” society agrees or not, …
[if you really wanted you could ask the Actualized/Actual verifier for their: his/her supportive opinion]
= You need to identify the tools the main entrepreneur uses; and how these tools translate to your specific knowledge system; as the consumer and such variety; and you have
to consider, … how important in level [as in or not important] your knowledge system is to the main entrepreneur

Hints for this basic review: M.E. [Main entrepreneur] = a similar meaning such as protagonist or main protagonist cited: U.C. Berkeley
& citation, inventions have at least * this purpose in disguise; alongside other citation inventions, …

The main article, or source citation: is incorporated or not; has to do with federations, and not just “federal”; solicits me based on hidden “Awards” of mine,
… has to do with the completion of this basic and mainstream type of cultural economic learning diagram, Untitled1 … leaves me, cited: c.i.a. operative hints, such as and-or
like and its true some of the “doctors” believe that all of a sudden I have developed b.p. ; or rather [in r.l.] I am just undercover in m.i. status, at least; to assess discrimination
how fun! against it; because that’s not what m.i. means and the hints in … [l’article] are such as, [:]
* think of age-ing men; and what they may need today and not just ten years, ago
* as an operative apply these thoughts to your current constand/t deployment experience that actual officials and authorities who aren’t really actual ignore:
cited: bingo; the problem main is: outdated and ongoing: they don’t like their housing circumstance
this is also the main reflective [sociological economic] line: Age-ing men who are experienced in * don’t like their housing; and may not have all
the housing options they want; how can we change what they earn in this age: period;
here’s a *funny/sci/fi like hint: what about halting the actual sociological development period of age-ing in contrast form: how necessary is this; we may not
want to stop anybody * from becoming the form of a completed aged Monk.


Make-Up: A way to write (poetry)/ I love it: the flower petal, seen; in not exactly a new form.

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date typed up: 61118

tag[s]: tirade[s] & art, sort of breaks from other *work in this *works

source, citation: as accessed on 61118

[also in this form: I love it]

  1. Imagine like the doctor’s office or the doctor’s set; you’ve been sick for a really long time; or just sick; ad: the sometimes occasion; can also be the all times occasion: as you need [it].

& in addition to taking internal medicine or remedy or that type; you can also uh apply external medicine; you know like that medicated version of make-up; or just make-up; whenever you feel like it; or rather, whenever you need it medicinally, …

  1. What would the make-up look like; personally, I’d want to have it caked on my form, face: and least some of the time, … or some days of the week/month/year like medicine that smelled good and healed me, … or something; healed … so much of it that I never worried about its effect: medicinal disappearing [the new version of holy (un) vanity & translated; how we became to start with; not addicts]

Untitled23. Against this sad; story [from the video, the video …] is definitely an art form: had you noticed without this clarification?

[Against the sad] is the Geisha; that you see; and another meaning to the cultural enforcement of something else [so against the sad = Geisha]

and what would you see;

Well, there is/r the masked lips:

Or here they are my favorite, the masked lips:

[a symbol for what? Voice>]

  1. The flower petal; in an almost spray paint type of conceptual look; a metaphor for/or actually like:

[Geisha [against the sad], masked lips [Voice], the flower petal spray paint look [=?]]

  1. The catch of Geisha Untitled6




  1. \ The complete Geisha: a new masked lips [color = class]
  2. The summary uh, poetry/ the summary poetry:

[Against the sad] is the Geisha; [see] the Geisha at first by its masked lips; unified by its Geisha-group Voice …

[Understand] the Geisha through its flower petal sprayed I-s

The Catch of Geisha; that it is Geisha is the glisten of its nostrils and that Such.

See the class of your surroundings by the Geisha’s new masked lips