abstract art

A “sucker” like a sucker punch & to trust an old lady? [think apples, again?]

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

[also available in this form: A]

By Goura Fotadar

Date typed up: 111917

tag[s]: “The Four Interviews” & reports



What’s left of “The Four Interviews”

10.18.16 more from “The Four Interviews” I’m now [? Not yet, moving on! from “The Four Interviews”]

At a shelter in San Jose in my native meaning not birth state;

But longest state that I’ve lived in; including, but not limited to

Going to college here: My “stuff” work-related is still at ?

House; and I just (one) it’s a joke but seriously; though I won my hearing; I’m on my period, but the hospital gave me four pads; and I’m wearing them in two-s back-to-back [edit: something I was taught as a child during my heavy cycle when I hadn’t yet added in; also a tampon; yes a tampon + pad; for most security from dropping blood, spilling at others’ gawks; makes you think of other, the term of, accurately]

fortunately, the woman next to me gave me some candy citing tootsie roll; [and not only me] a “sucker” like a sucker punch.

I have to write it’s another loss my, for; the top bunts-bunks how we all got here is through a trap-door, joking; well I got here through a hospital paid cab.

The Supervisor of the Supervisor & the advocate decided that I definitely do not have mental illness; and dropped the hospital’s charge [along with my kidnapping relatives’ charges i.e. not my biological relatives and also the charges from the imposters of my brother’s identity].

Concentrating theme: uh, you? Can get away with anything to me, if you pretend that you are my brother, when he’s uh … D-d ; I mean, who is going to say anything to you, imposter[s] of love

theme: connected to l-e, d-d, is l-g d-d

themes music citation: I believe in a thing called love, the darkness

I’m not sure though that the hospital wants to let go; and kind of doesn’t have a choice; at least I was able to speak my voice; about PTSD and those that experience it with or without mental illness; and how a psych ward with all of its happenings: the violent: oh violet screams, is an ideal place for additional ptsd recovery , with or without mental illness. I’m also most enlightened; as a sort of pun, (but it’s the theme, here.) [edit as of 111917: at that date, almost id and not i.d.? punt-pun: 101816]

Now it’s time to sketch more.


Part Two. Outside of “The Four Interviews”  This [is]How that’s not Going to Happen also known as, How to Trust an Old Lady.

I have seen this lady; and she’s dressed in an elegant cord; she’s very tall; and she’s very very old; she looks white; I mean ethnically. I have seen her before; and today I saw her searching for something that wasn’t hers. I’m not sure how she would have known it was there. You know like when you eat a sandwich; and just as you finish the last crumb; somebody approaches, you and you are outdoors; and asks you if you have stolen something or have committed a crime; and you either haven’t in a way that’s relevant, don’t, or don’t anymore; so what they’re asking for is your sandwich; and if you give them long enough to speak, they’ll non-prove to you that they deserved it also known as or didn’t [how to distribute charity, and who is that?]; and that you are a bad, bad wrong person for eating it. It was just this type of case with this old lady; and I had just seen another old but not that type of old lady. I had just seen an old lady who you could trust, right before this old lady. The first was protected from identity theft, so don’t worry. How do I know.

Of course, this time it wasn’t me finishing up the sandwich, and this time the cops [but: wait, it’s the “cops” not the cops or it’s the copies and not the cops] weren’t called on me, or on the [not and metaphorical] sandwich eater of the above conditions;  and this is how that is not going to happen. On Trust[s].

theme: eating sandwiches that are yours, in your right

theme music citation: When You were Young, The Killers


The Arrow Circle

Posted on

[and also in this form: Brief cited]

theme: why’d you do it.

Brief cited: Recovery notes for non-addicts, too, non-addicts, regular also

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by goura fotadar

date typed up: 111317

tag[s]: v.v. rights asked me to me. In the more modern era; criminology accords all models of … all making models of …




date: 111017

cited: moral injury

{applied outside of cited: recovery notes} { uh, eh for non-drug/addicts, too; was it worth it; how would you re-make reality, modify reality to improve cited: moral injury}

Not-corny examples from eh, uh childhood to adulthood:

They thought it would be inappropriate for me to call my mom a bitch; when she banned me from speaking about the transgender movement and held me situationally hostage for at least my brother’s identity; and at least that identity’s identity rights. I didn’t feel guilty [about … calling her … a]  because she’d beaten me up too many times as a child, when she was experiencing supposedly, stress. I’d never grown to experience stress like that. Instead I got and kept getting new forms for me in experience of cancer and cancer-like amalgamations; no matter how healthy my habits.

Not-quite evidence: {External} Where are the scars. {Response} /\ | here they are.

Externalized Example {For Others}: What about what … motivates you to enter the field area of career: killing. Ah, uh, one of the prime examples of experiencing, cited: moral injury. Define prime.

One to three points are enough of a response; but it [the response chronology ] can be  [even a lot] longer.

[Side Note. Modifications to Ramifications and Constructions to cited: moral Injury]

[Secondary Side Note. Now?, easily applied to addict cited: recovery, from where it was whence gathered, in this cornerstone note: that is a circle]



Wedding Memorabilia with Museum Studies: Topic; Building a Derelict Business-style

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[and also in this form, in addition please see here for additional as referenced photographs:topost11117 ]

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

By Goura Fotadar

Date, typed up: 111117

Dedicated to one of my brothers, l.t.f.


On date: 111017


cited: Kelley Park [or something] [how you ever, spell that]

Happy Veteran[‘s][s’][?][about ‘][location]

Day, Veterans!

(and their actualized loved ones)


On the seeming hurry!

after postal photograph

|| After postal photograph ||

beginning art Project

fallen petals;

get it;

like petals in the


Pick a photograph

Connected to possibly

The pre-phase, but

Doesn’t have to be;

Pre-phase derelict


Pick similarities;

other than

the one-set

Of shoes are these

They, the type of clothes

You, one might wear

In the homeless lifestyle,

being style. The door

symbolizing both the

loss or without traditional

housing rites [no typo]

: office environment,

storage, and …

freedoms et al.

But also the connection

of the maybe pre-

phase derelict lifestyle

To actual h. shelters.

The subject of this

photograph … captures

possibly the troubling




conception of “romantic”

relationships and

Housing scenarios

For even derelicts

On-the street

With other: wise

Occupations; and

How such scenarios

May be; my god!

“permitted” to commence



In such spiritual-like


Terms; by those

Hoaxing the existence-style and-or other: wise

not “permitted” into


In addicion; of

Course the capcion

Of the photograph

cited: and

re-captured : is

A standing cause for

l-q rights

beneath (the) (these referenced) two photographs; from cited exhibit montage thru kelley park


Next, of course

There’s been an unedu

Cated crowd; and I

Am not referencing

Tradicional or non-tradicional educacion;

Here; I mean

Only those not interested

In such expanding

Reaching topics.

Back to subject

Matter: we want to on

The side connected matter

Consider all infringe-ments

Like “farm-working”

Connected to the

Derelict and


Derelict life/style:

For example extenuating

Performances in action

Of social hygiene while

Actually fulfilling

Requirements for the

De/mand of given

  1. shelters; some I

know from personal

experience are un-able

to meet such post,

regular physical

demands; others of

course become injured

in: process.

Now, look for

Stand-out images;

When is allowed of time;

In loud though sequestered now almost stalking crow[no typo.] to a la exhibit

  2nd-step inventions

On-the side: internalizing

Images from the expansive

Experience outside to

Tell your such-like



[so an interruption and uh, how we comprehend items]

[such like images]

[in cited for the next kindle cited publication]

Provide a brief

Description of

p-e  2nd-step;

(below series of four images from lay-out in cited: exhibit)

Reality Interruptions and Interpretations Personal –to-External Stories, A picture personal-to-external story: disclaimer: almost disconnected from those photographed: of regular cleaning day to keep from getting beaten up; and or beaten up less; with those (who) actually cleaned: the actual kids; and those that pretended to and even publicly,  adults: the kidnapping adults

Reality Interruptions and Interpretations , A picture of one of the only other girls that was an actual little girl who was boyish enough despite long-hair appearances to survive getting beaten up to deflect beating up like things, activities from others, and even deflected  enough as like a “protector” compared to the boys.

Reality Interruptions and Interpretations, The other kids in the neighborhood started being impersonated; one such impersonated was my main brother in that household growing up in, and sometimes his imposter looked pre-genically older than him; and would flash *things while using his identity; and such the etc.; older seeming for example as a teenager when my main brother was seven or something

Above, To copyright further, the images from this book, lay-out used for this reality comprehension and interpretation exercise

next; of course

the stand-outs

on the brief run

of look-write-up

the first caught:

on rapid glance:

of course with

perspective matching

an almost then?




(below two photographs: from cited exhibit)

and the second


(below (the next) two photographs: from cited exhibit)



Theme: who do

You suppose who

Lives next door.

really capturing

The connection of

The spiritual derelict

Almost emblem;


of faith system


and interruptions

The two united

not just

By exhibit

But also by movement

Uh, of grocery

i.e. changes in contraptions

of grab:


  • – –IMG_20171110_124744

then a brief almost

finishing of the rose “orange soda” bottle; clean crumpled up

toilet papeur cover

+ a spill of

Almond milk

On a rocking steel? Metal table

and now it’s a



Theme: who is uh, getting wed

Theme music citation: D-12 Fight Music




From cupcake to body’s head & the trap-box, net, next

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by goura fotadar

date: 102517

[and also in this form: From cupcake to body]


Side notes of art:


the cupcake ball is certainly

a normal occasional piece

of paper towels; that is like

a ball before proceeding into

recycled : trash; and a ball

connected to this on-the-chance

cover analysis reminds of

the body part, head: as in your

head. cited: products that

contain the word “head”

The part of the cited: cover

I saw ; that wasn’t stickered through the library stickering process

[I haven’t yet studied the inside]

and that I’d gotten to of the cover:

cited: H (covered up) and look

at that coincidence I mean of “H” above above

gotten to: “-EART TRANSPLANT”


E: ART , is a function

to become plant-like [i.e. like some of my recent fiction; ad: to what bells else you apply]

cited: from cover: “FRANK CARUSO”


form, for: rank [placement, advancement, progression]

approve car[s]

for USO

(have not gotten to rest, the.)


cited: book , book cover see photograph

cited: as accessed book cover, as described in posting on 102517

Part Two. Of this posting. The trap-box next


I saw the number of four people external

to myself

and two of them; I’d surely seen in the same trapbox , before

The cliché of clichés

were a pair of claimed

teenage girls who looked

Much older than that; like

In the[ir] mid-40s; but

The time before: there

Was excessive verd

Loud conversation non-stop

About one of their dads; though

Little Detail was provided, besides

Something like laughing

Shriek, “my dad”

“my dad”

“my dad”

(sort of like fiction)

this time the

Same shrieking had ensued

And they were seated at

The the same spot-seat[s]

I had sat at the last

Time I had seen them:

Although as of current, there

Are like only five options

In that trap-box. [for seating].

The other two people this [outside of the two [‘] gals]

time first seen sat








The trap-box II.

Posted on Updated on

for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

tag[s]: surveillance q’s

date typed up: 102417

[and also in this form: thetrapboxnextset]


The trap-box model as I connected with it that day: was full of four people other than myself. Besides the precarious food dish: I had to throw out some trash; and there was-is no trash bin in the trap-box; I decided the trash was too much to bear [not b-e ?] [no, I mean too much to not bare] and walked out of the trap-box; with my stuff still in it: (other than the trash): I was gone nearby and briefly but had the opportunity: to use the trap-box’s surveillance to view my belongings inside it; I watched as nobody within the trap-box at that point of surveillance changed faces, and none approached my belongings; briefly gone, I returned to the trap-box, and to my belongings: I reflected on what had been my hypotheses and guesses, and how these might be useful for further; and solidarity; and

rest spots.


10.19.17 The financial real value “trust”

I decided at first-second, to reflect on the other four-as a trust exercise. Who did I “trust” enough to stay in the trap-box near my belongings; that was already there; and in this context: box; near means without me/my moving my belongings as I briefly threw out my trash while watching  scapegate.


[An image of “scapegate”]

cited: coca-cola and t-j’s [dark chocolate] pbc


5th grade exercises: The Phone and The Ring. Form fitting. {Rough Draft}

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for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by goura fotadar

Date: 101617

[and also in this form: Form fit]

tag[s]: emotional therapy with objects, notes for “purplement” in brainstorming, a criticism of marriage as a side a-chance, identity analysis, abstract art, crisis counseling

Form fit; old phone perhaps to ring

theme: in paining torture oh the boils of non-fiction

theme music citation: Melanie Martinez sippy cup

remember those old style hand phones; that hung up on a platform I was thinking about how they identify in form front; scuse me; form fit with a ring for example; and was reminded of such from today’s [date I think] fiction posting.

The image of such a phone might be useful; to examine; even a rough drawn such image.

The phone handle of such a phone sits on a display or something of the sort;

The ring sits if worn on a finger; so the opposite might be implied.

If in use= the phone is held by the hand; presumably; also known at hang-up at least as the phantom hand. It’s instead held when in rest on the phone, a different part itself; of course a ring has no other part but itself. In copywriting it should be either a one part or a zero part item; the ring i.e. So when in rest; I suppose it is held by a platform it is placed on. Which again or instead isn’t exactly a part of itself.

This then unites the handle portion of the phone of this image phone with the entire ring itself. Since both deserve to rest on something, apparently.

One rests on itself; and the other rests on another.

These are compartmental comparisons of one and other in objectifications or of objects.

[Again:] Such phone type, rests on itself

Such ring type, rests on another.

When worn, the ring is not in rest. {As defined here}

When in use = effective worn in comparison, the phone handle is not in rest.

Both usually in these types involve the hands.

and of course this is a reminder of those with hand or hand-like disabilities.

The ring on the finger/of hand; or the ring on the hand; is identified usually as ring-wearer: here called you; the ring itself: in use and not in rest as defined for this context; and the other[s]: that see[s] perhaps the ring.

The phone: is used by you:  and on the hand/finger/or with the hand; and when used it is interacting with the other; in a way like seen or even scene: hint: scene created by phone use interaction.

A phone might be used such predominantly in such form especially by one at a time; and the same with ring; but both are exchangeable to others; even those others (when speaking of the same phone and same ring) who have seen, scene, and witnessed each with each you.

theme: ha, ha! I have your phone and am using it; the same for your [that one] ring

Neither the phone nor ring; need you and neither may want you; if we could only emotionally objectify the those [things] enough to find that out for sure; but you need at least one, usually; and might want another; both in thematic and more conventional ways.

Same may apply to others; but perhaps better with the case of the ring; in the case, the others might become a you that wants and needs those things.

Do you suppose that the ring and phone; and rings and phones, resent you for needing and or wanting them.
Do you think the phone desires to be (w)rung; and do you think the ring desires to be un(w)rung. In the case of needing and or wanting the first; it might be easy to fulfill the first; and in the second; how about: most might guess; that un(w)ringing the ring; might be to let it rest on another thing, unworn; but how might you know for sure.

In either case; in regulated culture; the actual ring in name-title-rather; perhaps classification is tied to the phone; and both exemplify thus through chronological connection to the phone [even with more modern/a-o type variations] the difference between rest and not-rest; and a possible connection to placement with these two variations: rest, not-rest


Would you like me to also add; will you marry me.  Shall I call you on a phone; and then ask you this question to the scene-seen-witness; and then respond further to you by providing you with another type of ring. And in the advent of object variation to real philosophical turned promiscuity; turn asexual perhaps at least some of the rings as a thing of abstract cultural ethics; because in some manifestation in the abstract sense: the response to every ring-type is a consent to the cliché tradition of marriage; unless it’s definitely some other version of ring in the highly abstract sense. The phone and the ring then are also perhaps obviously delineators of research to identity efficacies and developments; and their practices.

The higher assignment seems to translate the worn ring into an additional and definite non-romantic marrying ring.

Conversation Cues:


Hi is this Goura.

Yes, it is.

Would you like me to give you a ring tomorrow. You sound busy.

Uh well, tomorrow might not work.

How about the next day.
The next day may not work. But thank you for seeing that I sound busy today, and right now.




[The Bag.] In the un-abstracted image[s] connected to this day’s upcoming and or fiction post.

Posted on


for The Fictional VolunTier Project

by Goura Fotadar

date: 10717

[or in this form: In the un]

A grocery bag is so useful and lasts so long, or long enough; if carried “right”.

Perhaps x or x-somebody disagrees. [agrees]

But seen in a certain angle; doesn’t it resemble in a glyph or form, a mirror; and if there is more than one bag; a stack of mirror[s].

Perhaps then the breaking of a grocery bag, grocery bag[s]; well, the variety [-ies] that can break or do break, eventually or when carried ‘long enough’ is more similar when thought of in angle form; like the cursed cliché of a mirror breaking.

citations: [the usual and ever again, favorite] sylvia plath, mirror and natalie merchant kind and generous ,  and 10,000 maniacs more than this