Analysis: form of observation.
by goura fotadar for The Fictional VolunTier Project
And other useful attitudes toward analysis photographs,
It’s not that important, really. And some Ran, Dome, “stuff’ about prosti
tuition; since this was uh a theme in my experience of witnessing and being recruited for, but not participating in,
during my pilgrimage of a homelessness (including, this) from late 2013 to late 2014.
(and the encompassing of hygiene as a factor in living. and of course the mention of “systems” and death.)
Thanks Source Text of Photographs.
Theme: That was a dress you wanted but never got. You were even designing the dress for yourself.
An-ay-ly-sis oh Creation of fiction the process of observation and translation through
analysis of reality depictions, reality observation and translation
dates: 111915, 122415, 122515, 122615, 123015, 1116, 1216, 1516, 1616 1716 1816 11016 11116 11216 11316 11916 12016
(For Observation and Recording Use,
For Poetry Creation,
Feedback from myself and personal notes about Prostitution as needed because of at least “The Four Interviews” … “The Hair on Ripping”
For Existence Hygiene and other Related Causes )
The source text for photography reflection & observation:
“SECRETS of a Jewish Mother … Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love … Jill Zarin LISA WEXLER, AND GLORIA KAMEN”
P. 175 on,
Pictures, going from top left,
to top right
In the first picture,
that supposed (to be) baby’s two hands together while supposedly pictured in the basinet
is representing the baby’s communication obvious to …
and in the arrogance of the accompanying adult is the cig in hand which upon study was pointed out to me by observation; you think I’d catch it on the first look.
now I’m not convinced that cigs are as bad for you or them or us, or any or at all as they, the studies say, (not that I smoke, and what studies, I haven’t cited any, but uh that’s not the main foci of this write-up synopsis and just my general purpose for myself especially in this selection of writing /analysis)
but uh in either case, the studies and most of modern “informed” media seems to say so, and so an accompanying adult with a baby openly photographed with a cig, to me represents a potential child welfare call (with the adult with cig in hand so close to the baby. Call me crazy?)
but uh then these pictures were taken some time ago … I think at least, and uh maybe then it was not as big of a deal to have a cig near a baby, and what am I saying since a cig near a baby based on my present belief system may not be bad? It’s just that whether I believe it’s bad or not, all of the commercials and presentations from my elementary school uh that was a long time ago, tell us, that not only are cigs bad for you the smoker but also for every (body: trees, plants; and where objects: structure geniuses are bodies, too: your bedroom window) near you, including the plants, uh, and especially for the children, under five so uh … if I were a smoker, whatever my belief system
is/ was / will be if these commercials and presentations continue on,
and like somebody pays attention, thenthan at the very least, I’d not do it around the others! If that makes sense. Also, in these modern times, I’ve seen so many pregnant ladies smoking, and whenever I complained, and asked if this is / was legal, because I didn’t want to stand by as they smoked with their pregnancies just in case it is actually a fact that this is bad for at least the baby or babies … I was always told by those above me, that uh it’s not illegal … for them to do that … so I guess my sense off legality I meant of legality? is off skew or something (off kilter) and all of this from just a look and mild analysis of just this one picture. I was going to do it for at least three pictures in this phase of this project-research, but now on second, third or fourth thought, perhaps I’ll limit it to two pictures for now. There’s still so much more to do and include …
(note to self: is this research. I always think of the “berkeley” definition as I remembered learning it of “research” being something more specific; but I suppose in general and just for amoment I’m too lazy to look up the dictionary definition : perhaps I should take a break)
So, I re-covered from my laziness, and looked up the definition of “research”
citation: dictionary.com as accessed on 12016
diligent and systematic inquiry or investigation into a subject in order to discover or revise facts, theories, applications, etc.:
recent research in medicine.
a particular instance or piece of research.
verb (used without object)
to make researches; investigate carefully.
verb (used with object)
to make an extensive investigation into:
to research a matter thoroughly.
I suppose on this inquiry it fulfills the fourth definition of the word; as quoted from the cited site.
In the second picture on the top, by-the-way, it’s going left to right;
in my humble opinion, and I have no idea why out of nowhere I mean c’mon the word humble should not imply bees at the drop of a sight,
I see the all red outfit and the hands on the thighs of the presumed mother, and I really don’t mean to tear these pictures apart, especially since they are not mine; but in this case, as I was and have been sifting this book for research connected to my: The Death Project, and am grateful for its knowledge spreading, I can’t help but say, and use these notes for my own volunteer agenda, to pinpoint what exactly in terms of energy struck me as stuck out and not stuck up as against the rest of the book as I’m using it for research and as I’m sifting through it. For one thing the way and the method in which the hands are placed with the ring and pinky fingers bent and the other fingers spread into the number three, makes me in my insanity? see a connection between the two children and the presumed father (based on stereotyped interpretation of the family pictures, mine –at least) that the presumed mother almost doesn’t share. It looks to me with the placement of the mother’s hand on her right thigh, that she just stepped into her body, to speak in a far-out metaphysical sense, and I guess that means that the hand points me to her posture and the slight leaning forward with an otherwise upright stance is in contrast to the other three people in the picture; because there’s also a curtain in the backdrop, and what looks like a floor, and perhaps a carpet:
(the …) shows a slight discomfort this again with the three open fingers and compared to the closed two fingers I once learned something like this from a professor in a literature course in undergrad, shows to me a closeness and a sense of belonging with the three that she isn’t encompassed in. And though she’s smiling, along with the presumed her / their children, and the presumed father is not; and the father’s shown hand is closed halfway though not in a tight fist not showing any fingers unlike her and the presumed children, the posture (of the father) is too relaxed if even upright for there not to imply or perhaps more correctly demonstrate a sense of belonging and even closeness. Unfortunately, this picture demonstrates the confinement of gender roles of the past, of especially the generation of the parents. I can’t assume that the presumed mother’s clothes are a skirt and top, it could be that they are pants and a sweater, but the fact that the pants are not clearly demonstrated as pants along with the older daughter wearing what appears to be almost a dress or skirt also, and the younger daughter and the father wearing both a coat and pants, imply to me a gendered confinement that comes with age, and possibly from the father’s smile lack of goes either way, but is maybe more potent for women sizing the presumed mother’s discomfort. Oh boy, I hope that’s enough.
An aside: and what does this have to do with photographs? But it has to do with notes and reflection and poetry on the next source text:
I don’t know what this has to do with gender confinement and picture analysis, and especially these photographs; but once I was in a vehicle in San Francisco, and a little bit lost, and I was over 18 so that the sight in my mainstream culture wasn’t all that freakish or should I say traumatic in a way not to be able to easily process and I’m not so sure about the overcome, and I saw the color red among the dark streets, and I felt that clammy feeling when something not processed yet is upcoming sometimes (to be continued)
please provide prostitution notes and/or notes from that book currently being used as last left off for “the four interviews”
notes-to-self and also poetry, uh in-p-sired, I meant inspiredby the book:
theme: I really like your furniture!
This third picture is really interesting as compared to the other two analyses or one analysis + one analysis; thus far; perhaps because of the surplus of furniture in the background.
The first theme I notice after the furniture theme is the theme that could be of colors. It’s almost at second or fourth look more pervasive in this photo or in your life or both than the supposed humans, photographed. By the way, this is the second row first picture on the left, on page 174; of this book. Just so the location is clear on that page; uh. So uh I thought about it and remembered a graduate student led class I took at UC Berkeley, my undergraduate institution that I completed my degree at. I mean of course, the undergrad degree; because of course for me and in my case I started at with-a community college. So this specific graduate student led class was the last class I needed to complete to finish my degree. And I had a bout of sickness, just prior-to; that was serious especially considering my still ripe-ing age, and so this class took forever to get to; in terms of making it available in my schedule. Good fortune stems from a bout of sickness or something? because a partner in my class project, suggested a great topic (once I finally got to the class): something like the healing abilities of colors of course; with psychology research to support them. We designed and completed a research design at a semi-advanced level in a group and then of course; we wrote our own long papers individually, and about our synopsis of our research design. Anyway, since then I have become more conscious (even more); and this isn’t in an insecure stigmatized and/or societal stereotypical method; but more like in an awareness on my own emotions, stability, and how these are connected to the colors of the clothes and apparel items I wear, and am surrounded by. (I’ll fix the punctuation later; punch you ation or something. Well, may It be.) Funnily or perhaps not; I ended soon after in college, working in clothing and not in a generic retail way; although absolutely there is almost nothing wrong, and many right with that: generic retail way. My opinions don’t matter; I’m just joking; but my opinions aside; this picture combined with these experiences and of course all of the interpersonal emotions/interactions in the counseling field and now I dream of poppies and what just am I talking about; anyway, this research design heavily influenced especially with its research and at that time relevant backing, my opinions of the influence of colors of the modern world on uh your or my psyche or something.
Anyway, afte r the first color of theme yellow.
he cushion chair and flowrs and I wonder if they are reel.
and then I notice all of the wood, like the wood paneling. and the walls or blinds or both or something almost look to be paneling of wood also. And maybe that’s just the wallpaper or the drapes are panel of wood textured
(and now the poetry and other notes in response to another source text, soon to be quoted in this document, and cited, also … what can I say, I just can’t help myself? End, how terrible this could be with regard to certain ideas; and hope-full I am not translated to actions/intentions …)
on this quoted text or highlighted text from, next Source Text: “Commercialized Prostitution in New York City” as available for free on Amazon Kindle:
The Exam & Complain of …
like a parlour
the gum boot powdered in
the smell that won’t
why the h do they have that doc’s room
i still don’t get it
the foot is fine apparent lie despite the pain it ce as not
however non-parlour can be used as heart health thru foot
strong beat of boom boom boom beat
why the h do they have that room
” In many houses the ‘doctor’ is said to come every six weeks; he makes a hasty and superficial examination, for which he is paid one dollar, one-half of which sum he turns over to the owner of the establishment.” (from location 136)
other notes to self and to include, here:
Please use ‘cardboard’ character to describe “The Hair on Ripping” poem writing and scene from New Jersey train situation : inapp. pictures w/cardboard Ecqb Skew.
based on this quoted text or highlighted text:
“When a customer is secured, the inmate hands the madame a square piece of cardboard, in which she punches a hole.” (from location 136)
please use ‘blandishment’ in writing :
based on this quoted text or highlighted text:
“Some of these unfortunate inmates become ‘house girls,’ remaining year after year, the unsuspecting victims of the madame’s blandishments and exploitation.” (from location 140)
What am I talking about:
on a quick thought, of this line:
“Bureau of Social Hygiene” (from location 79)
I think the phrase or terms together “Social Hygiene” are so much better, and more appropriate than “social welfare” and even though “welfare” is a good term, in my opinion; and according to the dictionary, is defined as:
(through general google search on the word “welfare” and its definition, including the first two; which almost seem, heavenly in definition; the search done on 122615:)
1. the health, happiness, and fortunes of a person or group.
* statutory procedure or social effort designed to promote the basic physical and material well-being of people in need
at this point in this write-up, family systems as a concept comes up in my mind; and not just in the counseling context which is where I first heard about it; and from a strong spiritual perspective. We used this textbook, and of course, how unfortunate, I no longer own a copy; but I found it so educational that I even bought it then as a gift (for others and to benefit them in at least edification of the family system ; how miraculous ; just joking) Cited: Saint Mary’s College of California Counseling Psychology MA program, Family Systems Course & the below photographed textbook
cited “NO SINGLE THREAD: Psychological Health in Family Systems
by Lewis, Beavers, Gossett, Phillips …” as accessed and seen on 1716
but as read in 2010 in the course as cited above.
It takes a lot of processing to come up with hygiene rules that work; people don’t understand that, and I always feel like I’m giving privileged information out when I discuss hygiene. For example, when affordable; the woman’s (and not the women’s) period alone is such a sophistication in management; when it comes to hygiene that I feel like at 34 years old I’ve been continuously processing and researching on how to improve its fall into the world. I literally mean this. For example, periods and toilet flushing. What do you do. When I was living alone (minus animal), I was just not comfortable flushing the toilet each time, it seems to require so much water; it just make me so sad. (At least when living and/or sharing a toilet with other people, a toilet flush just seems like the hygienic and user-friendly; obviously, quite right thing to do.) But when living alone, or having your own toilet; it just seems so wasteful to flush the toilet everytime, and also so bizarre to waste that much water each time you barely piss. So then we further self-hygiene practices and this is just in discussion with toilet flushing thus far. In the case of period blood, obviously even if you are “disease-free” leaving blood in the toilet even in your own toilet without flushing ; is it sanitary; are you and should you put something like comet in your toilet each time you don’t flush when it’s non-bowel (my apologies for the graphic detail), but I”m just trying to be as appropriate with water conservation as I can think to be.
citation: comet (cleaner) look up comet cleaning instructions
comet cleaner dot com as accessed on 12016 & before
In the case of even just piss or dare I think it blood in the toilet in the case of the women’s period and frequent enough change of a tampon and/or just plain use of the toilet while bleeding; leaving comet in the toilet when conserving water and with a self-gauge of is this sanitary with this concentration of non-bowel waste waiting until a certain number of uses to flush to conserve water versus every use flush. And how would one provide a training on this personal hygiene synopsis without the ability to measure in gauge sanitation standards of like a percentage of that stuff (concentration versus non-bowel waste in toilet); because eye-balling might only work if your preferences for hygiene standards were trained in measure against some sort of workable standard. And certainly this extends to all areas of hygiene practice. For example:
(In the drought) is it o.k. to miss bathing every other day for the purposes of water conservation; and perhaps that old use of bucket under the shower just hasn’t done enough to save the water falling from the shower head and/or small shower pusher in case in your shower both run; is that still happening in some showers?
(an aside: fiction, insertion: the comet in the sink is ready for me to use the motrin,now
A combined comet, motrin copy-byline; in case, that weren’t obvious, but sure and it is used for more, written by me!
you just have no idea how wonderful everything can be
even if you’ve made some or any of everything
citation: motrin motrin dot com as accessed & used on 120 16 & before
and I’ve had some …)
I was also looking for a general hygiene book like for all of society or something. You know, standard suggestions more than rules about how often you should change your sheets, wash your clothes, and just plain wash. Also I can’t help but think about the homeless population especially those that rest themselves outdoors. I know that some places have public showers, but as described they are not always nearby or accepted as locations to bathe in for the homeless people.
And if you’re conserving water in a drought even if you have easy access to water, and are not homeless; how do you conserve the water of laundry. Especially if you have a work-life outside of the home. Using recycled water to hand-wash, or something of that nature, your clothes (or nature your clothes?) is fine for in-the-home conservation; but what if they don’t dry completely or smell (un-pheasant I meant un-peasant I meant un-pleasantly) as they dry; in case you are also trying to conserve energy.
And before I switch to the next intersection; and I’m not driving, don’t worry?
I wanted to include something, that I think helps the conservation process during a woman’s period in-doors; like for example, I no longer have these, and they were on the expensive end; when I went on pilgrimage, I tossed out a lot of useful “stuff” from my former life. But then, in my former, more traditional working life; the days or hours I was in-doors instead of using a tampon and/or normal pad and/or normal panty-liner; because a really good method to stop leaks even if you are a heavy or just messy bleeder; is to wear a tampon of the appropriate size matching your blood flow level
and then a panty-liner in your underpants. These catch any superfluous blood, and also catch a leak right near changing time. And in case you are a man, and/or not familiar with the period bleeding process; you are right if it sounds to you like bleeding is a lot like wearing a diaper as a young child. It’s just it’s that long ago, and you can’t remember and then you weren’t doing the changing (i hope); and there may have been a smell, but there were no leaks. So creation or evolution or whatever seems to imply that Women Never Grow Up? I hope not, and let’s not take that approach to the why perspective and not just the traditional ramble about the blood falling from the lining or of the lining or whatever that perhaps useful but at this age nearly mundane and certainly not that heavily worth remembering none-sense is.
Also, referring to the memory of the family systems book and that class as cited above. I was also thinking of how standards of social hygiene and/or hygiene might start to deviate at stages of maturation; presuming that you have them: the / your stages of maturation. (left off here: )
I think of the most outstanding or stuck out stages of hygiene maturation as compared to the back drop of my environment in terms of social hygiene of the environment:
I just think of the example of being a little kid and noticing the apartment/condominium wasn’t cleaned and/or vacuumed. And even though, there was a vacuum cleaner, right there. When I vacuumed just a small space that was / had been bothering me at 8 or 9 years old by just looking filthy and especially non-vacuumed. Until vacuumed. Somebody who also stayed in that condominium but was an adult and returned home from adult classes at the local community college, said; “there’s no way you vacuumed this!” as if that newly cleaned space were so noticeable in about ten minutes of hygiene/sanitizing and/or at least cleaning work; a break from my homework: in energy I could feel the filth of the bodies all returning back to the condominium back to the space of that I had just vacuumed resting there until it was bed-time; as if there were nowhere else in the condominium to be in; then again, the only non-cabled television and television in that apartment was in that small space so perhaps its stake on the minds, bodies, and spirits of those folks could not be overcome; not that I believe televisions are bad forms of entertainment (or information).
Another example I have is when the school system’s hygiene practices; big surprise, had started to rival that of the adults in my family. By then it was around eight grade, for me; and some of us in our gym class in our book bags (what are these words I’m using it’s not as if I grew up in the 1960s; it must be the influence of the colored discussion from that book / pictures ) were bringing deodorant or like some sort of scented spray because we didn’t bathe after gym; it wasn’t an option, then. So I opted to bring my deodorant with me in my backpack. Well, around the time of seventh grade or junior high I started wearing lipstick some of the time; like the rest of my friends, although most of them wore more makeup than that. Well, that’s also around the time, more like right before that my mother announced that she lost her job, as mentioned somewhere in these write-ups posted to the volunteer blog; right before junior high started (and on my twelfth birthday). So she was home all of the time, whereas at least she hadn’t been home before; and other adults who she either rented to or stayed in that condominium if they were relatives weres. As soon as junior high started, she would be waiting for me at the windows at the top of the stairs before entering into the condominium, and even though I’d cover my face with my hair so that she wouldn’t catch me with lipstick on, she’d jump me on my way into the condominium. And I guess this was legal then, because if you live in someone’s house and you wear lipstick or anything else they don’t approve of they can nearly do or ask anything of you, right. So it’s funny because I suppose make-up which I hardly ever wear now applies
to and/or falls under hygiene. And I suppose perhaps more importantly, it certainly falls under art. So the lipstick situation aside, it is a connector to the deodorant decision with regard to hygiene. And I’m sure it’s obvious to everybody by now that setting it against the backdrop of prostitution and the family system, certainly brings about various overlaps and perhaps just one of them is hygiene. So in the case of the deodorant in the front pocket of the backpack that I carried to junior high school, on special events; it was custom for my family system to construct more abuse perhaps because of the outside invading the inside; and I can only think that somehow there was this invisible fear of “getting caught” for not doing what was right (for them that they were hoping to succeed in transferring elsewhere; how injustice works!). In this one case, a relative came from another state to visit. And I was told ahead of time that we would all be going out to dinner. So when I returned home from school, and though I had been carrying the deodorant in my backpack for weeks or even months. And actually interesting to share this, because the deodorant was part of a thing that my mom and some of her cult friends; she was in / is in a cult, were working on using to generate money; I believe it was called Amway. The money generator idea that is/ And right below I’m going to cite it, and also if I can find the deodorant.
So this is a picture of what my deodorant looked like but the 1994 version, of it; was imaginably slightly different and featured a tree type scent and possibly I can’t be sure that sort of imagery on the front also (can’t be sure of the latter in that clause, it was that long ago):
citation: amway dot com as accessed on 11316
And as soon as I walked in the door, my mother started to request to search my backpack as if I were at thirteen the local drug addict and/or criminal. All she found was the deodorant, and as she had completed her search and put forth the deodorant on my bedroom floor as if it were a bomb I had built and planned to explode prior to dinner; I said to her, “I need that deodorant to put on after p.e.” And she started yelling as if I were insane thus-by declaring her insanity. In a case like this of severe adult mal-development of your parent and/or guardian you can only HOPE that another adult nearby has some sense or at least development to add the negative back to at least a neutral as my thirteen year old voice would say. So it’s not my place to insert another adult in here, especially back then. But fortunately, for her, another adult was coming and just moments away. So when the adult walked in, she smiled, as my mother ran downstairs to the front door and yelled loud enough so I could hear in my bedroom; although the condominium is not so large, and the door was open; about how she wanted her sister to come upstairs because she had something to show her. So when they came in, the sister was smiling as if expecting a type of miracle in revelation. Oh no, that’s just me. Just kidding. And instead she saw the deodorant. So she agreed with my mother that it was so evil for me to have deodorant in my backpack; and isn’t this the interesting thing in social and family systems; it always comes down to who abuses somebody else into being the scapegoat more evil or just plain evil one. At least this has been my experience. And the funny thing is, you never actually know what is true (if you really think about it); unless there is like somebody known as Truth who can actually oversee, evaluate, and remedy the whole evil versus non-evil thing. And this is what makes me so sad about society,
that there is no standard Truth in lots of cases and I think unfortunately even still; because if there were there would be an understood verdict about things such as deodorant and taking it to school, and really is this criminal or are they just insane enough to need serious help and within the confines of an institution.
( note to self: provide examples of laundry hair washing practices and even deodorant) often, social systems like your former or current work environment are expected to share hygiene practices of commonality, and an example of where these are enforced; though not exactly a work environment if you are a resider: are homeless shelters, same goes about cleaning practices; for example, in the homeless shelters I stayed in everybody had shared toiletries (toilet: tries! , yay!) if they couldn’t afford to buy them on their own; which were most of us, and there were assigned shower times, and there were also assigned cleaning times and/or chore times for the shelters and the shelter spaces; and I’m not sure if this counts as hygiene: but there were also assigned meal times.
(and then more searches on the following words in the same search engine now cited above and as described there–above, brought up these definitions)
” hy*giene ”
conditions or practices conducive to maintaining health and preventing health disease, especially through cleanliness
1. of or relating to society or its organization
(o.k. this is exhausting)
(and just as aside, lemon as a natural deodorant when you run out of supplies)
theme: Truth and/or Justice
Song/ Artist: “say it ain’t so” / weezer
artist: Wild Beasts Song: Brave Bulging Buoyant Clairvoyants
(citation: npr.org /music / as accessed around the same date as below)
and finally or not, theme: death and gravestones connected to families their ties of closeness and not clothes, only and how they’re buried (The Death Project) and how this depicts their former closeness, and the closeness that may come after the burial and death, if you might or come to believe in that type of thing, and I’m not just talking about heaven, just and/or only but also the and maybe instead? the afterlife what all that includes or might include
artist: King Crimson
song: Epitaph Including March for No Reason and Tomorrow And Tomorrow
album: In The Court of The Crimson King
(citation: via npr.org/music/as accessed on 12.24.15)
Artist: Night Beds
citation: via npr.org/music/as accessed on 12.30.15
theme: outsiders the female version
citation: outsiders the novel, “The Outsiders, Coming-of-Age novel by S.E. Hinton, first published in 1967 …” (citation: facts from Wikipedia)
npr.org/music: g.l.o.s.s. girls living outside of society … (I think as I heard it) on 1.1.16 and tender blue and gentle gold “amelia” (I think as I heard it on 01.02.16)
citation: g.l.o.s.s. as on online yahoo search on 1.2.16
theme: death and passing on
theme song: Reconfiguration
artist: Other Lives
citation: as seen on npr.org / music on 1516 & 1016
artist , song
Nortec Collective Presents: Bostich+Fussible Centinela
theme: being better
artist Laura Marling song: False Hope
citation: npr.org / music on 11016
Eternal Summers A Burial
citation: npr.org / music on 11216
Other Sources, cited (potentially left-out, or cited again):
SECRETS of a Jewish Mother … Real Advice, Real Stories, Real Love … Jill Zarin LISA WEXLER, AND GLORIA KAMEN
NO SINGLE THREAD: Psychological Health in Family Systems
by Lewis, Beavers, Gossett, Phillips …” thru Amazon.com,
St. Mary’s College of California Counseling Masters Program
Npr.org All Songs Considered and Its Special Music Education Program(s)
“Commercialized Prostitution in New York City” as available for free on Amazon Kindle, so Amazon Kindle, also
UC Berkeley Psychology BA Program
Riki Fashion (Boutique now defunct in Berkeley, CA)
amway dot com
dictionary dot com
(and other misc. citations as included in this write-up)