The Grief Thing For the Fictional VolunTier Project Theme: It’s not even perfume but it’d fall under perfume, what is it skin water

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The Grief Thing For the Fictional VolunTier Project
Theme: It’s not even perfume but it’d fall under perfume, what is it skin water

Happy Washing Year & Reflections on Metta and SomeHow Agape Enters the Mine Stream again … How placement of objects and with body positions re-calculate your freedom esp. of movement, and without you being able to stop it. ? What to do. Agape. And the energy of conserving your own survival when your demise to some extent or partly is at the hands of outside energies that are not as well-formed for you as you are for them. The concept of a family or those that work for you, also (in energy, alone.)

O.K. I seem to have misplaced my notes regarding this from yesterday, so anyway, here’s today and what I remember from yesterday,
theme: I’m more spiritual or something even though “spiritual” has a negative connotation
obvious; by goura fotadar
date(s): 121915, 122015, 122115, 123115, 1116, 1216, 1316, 1416
Sources, cited from:
– music
– (metta)
– (death)
– (agape)
– GHOSTS By Henrik Ibsen
Translated, with an Introduction, by William Archer (Kindle)
A family drama in three-acts
” 9

Titthañ caram nisinno va
Sayano va yavat’assa vigatamiddho
Etam satim adhittheyya
Brahmam etam viharam idhamahu

As you stand, walk, sit or lie,
So long as you are awake,
Pursue this awareness with your might:
It is deemed the Divine State here. “

notes to self,
so enlightenment is the divine state, here or so says my interpretation, is this obvious, here, or is this my bizo interpret
Quotes on metta (sutta) from this link/site:


Let all-embracing thoughts

notes to self:
after this life, to clear the energy
insert a : “(of protection)”


Never in a womb is one born again.

notes to self:
so if in a womb, it is not a re-birth,
and this then brings about (in my mind) the concept of death as a dissolution and not
a re-awakening although I presume in an unenlightened state, a re-awakening and/or death would be an enormous blessing of …
other notes to self (fiction)
“do we have to keep smelling these horror of smells …”

from, source: (as accessed on 01.01.16)

What do Mormons believe happens to us after we die? What do Mormons believe about life after death?

Death is not the end. Death is really a beginning—another step forward in Heavenly Father’s plan for His children. Someday, like everyone else, your physical body will die. But your spirit does not die, it goes to the spirit world, where you will continue to learn and progress and may be with loved ones who have passed on.

Death is a necessary step in your progression, just as your birth was. Sometime after your death, your spirit and your body will be reunited—never to be separated again. This is called resurrection, and it was made possible by the death and Resurrection of Jesus Christ (see 1 Corinthians 15:20-22).

don’t forget about agape,
I’m not christian,
but agape in some way,
because I cant all ways,
or something,
means an elevated form or something a higher level of metta,
in some ways?
(i think or feel.)

I first learned about agape,
after meditating seriously in the buddhist tradition of theravada,
in an average weekly meditation class of lay and non-ordained people in the buddhist tradition except the occasional catholic and jewish people,
and then I started as I’ve mentioned eh many times,
I started a graduate counseling program at st. mary’s college of california,
and within the first semester got the opp.
to read literature some of it multi-faith based,
and most or much of it spirituality based,
and I don’t mean to be uh judgmental,
because I haven’t always identified as being spiritual; as I’ve mentioned most of the people I’ve met who claim to be spiritual especially in my younger daze, weren’t actually; and because I then especially didn’t identify this way, I felt heavily persecuted for actually being spiritual without knowing it. But as I got older, I met some more folks that identified as being spiritual that were actually “trying” whether they were faith-based or not. I think from experience in the counseling tradition, spirituality plays such a heavy role in the activity of counseling; that it’s, in my opinion, not possible to keep going and be effective without at least giving your spirituality some serious and frequent thought development. (However, as I’ve pointed out, I’ve since left the profession; and was only in it for short while anyhow.)
as an aside, sort-of: I’m trying to write an agape chant,
I’m not so familiar with that tradition,
that I don’t know if there already is a chant that I have heard.
so, uh. let me work on that,

cite: (as accessed on 1.4.16)

citation: youtube as seen on 1416

Screenshot (110)
as many projects wait to come to fruition in development whilst I work on them and others.

So, not exactly a chant, but uh a something of on agape:
o.k. so from merriam-webster’s word-of-the-day: reticulate and agape search for definition:
reticulate of aga pey
and not a-gape
like a cape of a super-hero or heroin without the false drug component
that it’s supposed to be corny,
and then you see all the corn, greens, and (pomegranate) pomegranite[sp?] it’s supposed to be a joke palm oh granite I’m tired God, this take so much energy
who pervades and suffices things
with the elevated that’s my theme word for now or something
of quality agape
is it superior to metta,
is it on par with metta
or upekkha
is it charity,
I don’t know, do we have enough inter-faith dialogue
because we have enough false spirit-us
citation, on theme: what exactly does agape mean other then-than the now cliche tan (no offense skin color, am I so politically un-correct)
fad term love
and I keep thinking of the word agar; I don’t know is it a kind of gel: cite: (as accessed on 1416)
below, from website: (as accessed on 123115)
” Definition: Agape is selfless, sacrificial, unconditional love, the highest of the four types of love in the Bible.

This Greek word and variations of it are found throughout the New Testament. Agape perfectly describes the kind of love Jesus Christ has for his Father and for his followers:

Whoever has my commands and keeps them is the one who loves me. The one who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love them and show myself to them.

(John 14:21, NIV)

Pronunciation: uh-GAH-pay


Jesus lived out agape by sacrificing himself for the sins of the world. “

theme: liturgy

song/album: g.l.o.s.s.
as heard on / music (as accessed on 010216)

Screenshot (108)
theme: religion
cited: album: the book of souls
as sampled and heard on /music/ all songs considered (as accessed on 1.2.16)

Screenshot (107)

And looking at metta again,
from the same site:
In “Introduction …
True metta is devoid of self-interest. It evokes within a warm-hearted feeling of fellowship, sympathy and love, which grows boundless with practice and overcomes all social, religious, racial, political and economic barriers. Metta is indeed a universal, unselfish and all-embracing love.”

notes to self: 

So at re-looking at this definition again,
it looks like “metta” is at the same-level as “uh-GAH-pay”

theme: it’s all about the heart
artist: nneka
song title: heartbeat
citation: youtube and vevo as accessed on 123115
theme: greek: I don’t think it’s even greek I think it’s latin; who knows, I’m just not that educated
Panda Bear Boys Latin (Andy Stott Remix)
The Rentals It’s Time To Come Home
citation: / music (as accessed on 123115)

Quotes of Interest and Potential Significance
GHOSTS By Henrik Ibsen
Translated, with an Introduction, by William Archer (Kindle)
A family drama in three-acts
I forgot to write the page numbers or location numbers this time; sorry
“The action takes place at Mrs. Alving’s country house, beside one of the large fjords in Western Norway.”
[ … “Through the glass wall a gloomy fjord landscape is faintly visible, veiled by steady rain.
[ … “In the background, the room is continued into a somewhat narrower conservatory, the walls of which are formed by large panes of glass.” …]
[ENGSTRAND, the carpenter, stands by the garden door. His left leg is somewhat bent; he has a clump of wood under the sole of his boot. REGINA, with an empty garden syringe in her hand, hinders him from advancing.]
[ … “Can you ask what a father wants with his only child? A’n’t I a lonely, forlorn widower?” …]
[ … “Not even of sending me a scrap of stuff for a new dress?
… Come to town with me, my lass, and you’ll soon get dresses enough.”]
Theme: Again, Grief and The Death Project? Ghosts do they help this process in the metaphysical sense date o1 o1 2016 and what are they and
It’s like a metaphysical rant
Because I always go through a spiritual grieving period at the end of any year,
and less at the beginning of a new year;
and also on some holiday / special annual days, like valentine’s day;
I’m now going to cite a song, that I used to listen to at one of my past job’s work stations:
citation: youtube andrea bocelli and sarah brightman time to say goodbye
I felt like the song had some ghostly like energy that was in its backdrop,
I guess we all know what ghosts are in the mundane sense,
and so I thought to define them from the dictionary again; just for further identification in the spiritual sense of the word,
and looking at the definitions I have come to mind one of my favorite childhood movies,
ghostbusters, citation: Ghostbusters, 1984 (through Wikipedia)
and realize that I remember or recall what I thought to be ghosts in that movie,
but now as an adult I am more coherent of the fact that it should be instead something like grossbusters and one of the reasons other than just general metaphysical development with adult coherence is because perhaps and here’s the distinction for me agape stresses something like benevolence in my mind when practiced in just basic chant form: agape agape agape ; and moreso than metta whose metaphysical benevolence toward perhaps even something such as an imagined un-easily sightable being as a ghost is at a higher elevated energy of benevolence or giving of kind regard; esp. when these may be imagined beings that you haven’t yet known personally. And here I have to turn back to the metaphysical stress of The Death Project; and that is the narcissistic view and angle of false authority even to and toward the metaphysical aspect of life: that my dead who are now my imagined ghosts matter more than your dead; because either you haven’t seen or imagined yours as ghosts, angels, demons, and or whatever; or there aren’t that many of them in yours as in competition with mine and my family’s repertoire of dead. And of course I hope this is obvious that this isn’t my own personal attitude at all; but quite unfortunately I’ve seen this unkind and vicious attitude projected openly and aggressively from many families regarding their own dead as if in competition with all who are actually dead and their cared for them in their dead state, relatives. And just how plain awful. I realize that we all grieve in a variety of ways, but still; and again just how plain awful.
and anyway, the definitions of “ghost” as I found them online; also with the root of the term or word:
“Simple Definition of ghost
Popularity: Bottom 50% of words
: the soul of a dead person thought of as living in an unseen world or as appearing to living people
: a very small amount or trace

Origin of ghost
Middle English gost, gast, from Old English gāst; akin to Old High German geist spirit, Sanskrit heḍa anger

First Known Use: before 12th century

Full Definition of ghost
: the seat of life or intelligence : soul <give up the ghost>
: a disembodied soul; especially : the soul of a dead person believed to be an inhabitant of the unseen world or to appear to the living in bodily likeness
: spirit, demon
a : a faint shadowy trace <a ghost of a smile>
b : the least bit <not a ghost of a chance>
: a false image in a photographic negative or on a television screen caused especially by reflection
: one who ghostwrites
: a red blood cell that has lost its hemoglobin”

Theme: It’s better to work through the mild hunger, because in the pain of major hunger; they may not want you to eat. Right Ghosts? If you avoid the eat in the mild hunger when you (yourself) (is this proper grammar I’m not sure) are not entirely able to provide for you and yours, then the energy of the situation in mild avoidance provides for you later that is soon enough.
citation: from the above quoted text or book: GHOSTS By Henrik Ibsen
Translated, with an Introduction, by William Archer (Kindle)
A family drama in three-acts

[ … “In the background, the room is continued into a somewhat narrower conservatory, the walls of which are formed by large panes of glass.” …]

notes to self:

pains of glass, uh

Also, more perfume notes:

alright so take a few rose petals of a rose group that were meant for you but can’t be used by you possibly ever or yet and dry them on the window-sill; notice how the drying petals turn to a lotion scent; and figure what else you might use them for as they continue to dry

as an observation in moldings; I think as I plan potential future prospects for my rose petals almost captured but free that rose inhibits the growth of mold

in your cool cup of black tea, take the fibrous part of any orange and dump a few of it in; see what happens

when your solutions are getting shorter, add a left-over fixer solution; take a potent or used orange peels of an eaten orange and cook it in your bathroom sink with hot tap water for a while, and then put the solution with a glass into your emptier because of due to use and hopefully not bottle leakage into these shorter on solution bottles also put a used before stone at the bottom of the sink solution to harmonize everything as usual and if you leave the window open esp. in the winter it charges the stones/rocks in your room clearing the energy … theories? of advancement what a joke

personal experiments on not jus potpourri
to neutralize any excess odor in your surroundings
take a lunch brown bag
and a bit of baking powder
and leave the bag open
in your surroundings
theme: how do you protect yourself and your freedom in this situation as described in this brief fiction quote and what does this have to do with grief and agape

[ENGSTRAND, the carpenter, stands by the garden door. His left leg is somewhat bent; he has a clump of wood under the sole of his boot. REGINA, with an empty garden syringe in her hand, hinders him from advancing.]

as cited above quoted text right above from,
GHOSTS By Henrik Ibsen
Translated, with an Introduction, by William Archer (Kindle)
A family drama in three-acts

notes to self:

Because I’ve been in one too many of these situations; and when unsure of what to do, I often utter such a word as agape or metta or something of the sort in my head to avoid unnecessary grief. I wonder if it helps this type of mental chant in a quickish last minute declaration escape such a situation unscathed that you hopefully didn’t cause for yourself or others.

theme: pain and relief
citation: song: Kill V. Maim
artist: Grimes
( / music as accessed 01.03.16)

Euthanasia is such a huge issue for me, that I’ve barely wrapped my head around it. And I first heard its severe discussion as an undergrad; and everybody then decided it was a personal moral choice, and there could be done nothing about it in terms of policy.
On the one hand, I believe in mercy killing, and I am pro-choice about suicide.
Which means that I view one’s own contemplation of death even at the level of suicide whether pain or dissatisfaction with your own life, and mental and physical turmoil that turns/ shifts to unbearable; as healthy given the depravity that even the most privileged among us thrive in. That means, I have a hard time telling people it’s wrong for them to contemplate their own death and even suicide. In fact, I find it healthy.

And though this article has more to do with pain relief than mercy killing, and/or the onset of suicide; it still makes essential and interesting points about death and death contemplation; and loved ones regarding these issues:

Today, the organization’s three hospice centers serve some 2,100 outpatients. ‘It’s not always the pain that’s their greatest worry,’ she says. ‘It’s often ‘What’s going to happen to my children when I die?’ It may be spiritual problems, it may be cultural — things they have to carry out before they die. We try to help with all those kinds of things.”
title of news story: How Uganda Came To Earn High Marks For Quality Of Death
date: as accessed on 01.03.16

define euthanasia:
from ””
as accessed on 1.4.16
Also called mercy killing. the act of putting to death painlessly or allowing to die, as by withholding extreme medical measures, a person or animal suffering from an incurable, especially a painful, disease or condition.
painless death.

And just to note, I’m not sure if this is correct or not,
but all of the controversy I’ve been exposed to thus far;
regarding euthanasia or mercy killing is really interesting considering
the cited dictionary’s definition:
“640-50; < New Latin < Greek euthanasía an easy death, equivalent to eu- eu- + thánat (os) death + -ia -y3”

notes to self:
“an easy death” seams no typo there mean it; that of something people might “judge” I know I’ve often heard that my suffering is the result of my “karma” and so my fault. Even if that were true; for anybody really, because I’m factoring everything I can when potentially insulted this way; wouldn’t “karma” be an inter-twined process with lots of factors having an effect/affect on it for any being, of energy. (or not). In any case, if viewed this way, as said above; “an easy death” may be frowned upon just because simply the “others” might expect for you to suffer until death; and however far away that may be if even in a ridiculous amount of pain. So, uh.

(Uh, maybe for next time; define two types of jealousy at least or contrast the definitions
and also define envy and how it differs from jealousy)





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