The Hair on Ripping: The Free Moving? Life’s Style pour Wom-an & Comments About Quotes

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09.04.15 — 09.08.15

The Hair on Ripping: The Free
                                          Life’s Style
                                         pour Wom-an &
                                                   About Quotes
by Goura Fotadar

Referenced Text for this portion of “The Hair on Ripping”



P. 209
                                       … Nancy rested only a few months before her husband, who was obviously all pioneer and no settler, decided to try Oregon. She followed him from
place to place throughout the West, giving birth to eleven children. Looking back, she remembered the adventures. ‘I have enjoyed riches and suffered the pangs of poverty,’
she said. ‘I have seen U.S. Grant when he was little known. I have baked bread for General Fremont and talked to Kit Carson. I have run from bear and killed …”

As a woman, having been on–
pilgrimage; as I’ve mentioned in “The Four Interviews,”
once-again I was questioned about the safety of
a woman as a transient (alone) across
the country;
(for me) type
and is it a reasonable question: what might
be dangerous for a man alone, is it un-reasonably
dangerous for a woman.
What an obvious question? But
what serious observation in/of freedom.
Surely, if a woman embraces
a pilgrimage type journey, she need be with a man;
and not have the freedom of being alone.


    She was so independent she never wore a corset.
     …Eventually, she became convinced that her problem was the lack of an occupation—
a common dilemma for women who graduated from college and then found no task serious enough to match their skills and ardor.”
Is still the case that not wearing certain garments suggest something especially about
For me, it’s so important to reflect on what it means to be any being with a unique skill-set;
especially, at pivotal moments in your life like, for example: when you complete college. At these moments expected or patterned work may not suffice to meet your desire to use your skill-set; as much as, manageable; and to build upon it; in the ways you would design for yourself. At times of pivot especially, you might be especially fearful of boundary-pushing, less secure, self-designed work.


     ” In 1913, when Alice Paul decided to steal the thunder from Woodrow Wilson’s inauguration with her great parade, Ida Wells-Barnett, the black journalist and activist, arrived in Washington with a sixty-member delegation of African American women
from her Alpha Suffrage Club in Chicago …
                                … , the lynchings that had
begun after Reconstruction had turned into a permanent weapon of political and social intimidation. In 1918 in Georgia, Mary Turner, a pregnant black woman, tried to intervene when a crowd lynched her husband. She was tortured, her body slashed open, and the fetus pulled out before she was burned to death … ‘until you teach your people not to molest the whites.’ “

Times has changed, to some extent. Once in faith-based shelter, I was told by devote Christian women of color; that the mixing of the races other than “white” and “black” was “wrong”; and I should stop speaking about other races, or else one of them was going to hit me.
This was as recent, as last year.
What does this have to do with my
career? Everything.
I left my graduate program because I could no longer tolerate the open prejudice toward,
especially the poor “white” people; from
literally every race, and person; other than
of course me.
In one class, a woman, said to me in front of the entire class, much before I’d ever been homeless; that she didn’t care about a “white homeless man” , because
every white person is / was / will be
In another class, another woman, said
she would gladly turn away “poor white clients” and
replace them with “any minority client.”
I believe in re-birth , karma, patterns,
universes; all that, and much more.
I couldn’t help but wonder if the same people here in this program, including the professors, who supported them; had been the same that had done those bad deeds, in the past; tainting at least this nation’s history, and pattern to freedom, (in our world, in our universe); spiritually writing, how far does this intent of racism & prejudice, travel. I’d like to know, certainly.
Other than speaking up, and against, this viewpoint in class; when in my last semester, I saw clear support from the faculty in putting down, all races except:
-latino? I’m not sure if this term is appropriate.
– African-American
-Rich? White-American
with a severe focus on putting down
“poor white people, and college students, who were/are classified as poor white,”

I fought back, and
was reported:
I put the words exactly , but not nearly the worst ones; out as I had encountered, them in class. The two faculty, who I met, threatened me with a report to the president, if I didn’t comply with their rules of both:
(1) recanting my repetition of their words (the school’s educational … )
(2) removing myself from emailing any person from my personal email connected to their school, while in the program
I agreed only to the 2nd, because complying with the first would be complying with racism.
I also encouraged them to please report me to the president; because this meeting was something I wanted to remember for the rest of my life, at least.
Shortly thereafter, I dropped out from the program; and so close, after many years of a health struggle, to graduating.
Soon after, while on pilgrimage; their billing department contacted me with an enormous bill, that they were going to send to collections from that semester. I refused to respond.
I can’t help but point to the backdrop of religion and faith here, for open racists.
In my not so old life, I have been called:
the n word
the k word
& also a w crack whore.
My ethnic race is Asian-Indian, though my family hails [sp?] from closer to Central Asia.
When the top
three categories are
not used,
I am then
(a) A M. terrorist

My family is Hindu in origin, and though I
identify largely
with Buddhism
spiritually &
many faiths enter my
faith life, including Christianity;
through which I am
most openly slandered.
When nothing else asserts them into slandering what they assumed was my ethnicity …
(into ethnic identity, and unjust but likely, also personal hatred toward me)
they yell,
(b) go back to
your country.

Well, this is my country; my career; my faith; my belief; my spirituality; my display of non-racism-adherence; my identity;
it’s also 2015.

So I wonder as African-American Women especially but not only them, Yell at Me About My Privilege & My Ancestor’s American Slavery Past? (Which as far as I know, is non-existing):
While they & their White, Latino, & Other Peers,
complete degrees,
that I worked hard in; only
to drop out;
and then work
for free at the risk of homelessness;
who and what is privileged
all of you or me? Is it me as they assert … ?

I wonder if we
went back in time,
was it me or all of you
being openly
lynched, mobbed, and perhaps
what had been,
and what has become
for me;
here’s what I’ve
been asked to
support (anywhere) and at least:

I hate n’s
I hate j’s
I hate m’ s
I hate p.w’s
I hate t’s
I hate g’s …

My goodfull indeed,
I have wondered
in shelters
at Cal
at DeAnza
St. Mary’s
Places of My Work

What year, and
time, and
country am
I in.

This isn’t the old days
even if that were your/their
& I’m not from, then:
Dude, I’m only 34 … never should these horrible terms
have made it to may ears (years of)
in my lifetime
in this time …
Something has gone very wrong.

I now, as mentioned before, somewhere for in The Fictional VolunTier Project
live with my abusive
family, as an adult after so many years;
without an income;
only to accomplish
my own especially,
but other stuff also,

Barely dodging:
and threats of their gun shooting, me dead;
though yet a gun
has to be pointed
at me in this time in this life; (I only wonder about the past from “their” , your behavior; )

just so I can work without at least racism,
isn’t this /that
Me …?  To:
Lord, any employer
professor /
mentor /
me: past / present / future;
to Accomplish
Within My
Beliefs of
Ethics / Spiritual
My Good Full!

By Gail Collins


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