Excerpt from “The Four Interviews” for The Fictional VolunTier Project

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Food "Four Interviews"
Food “Four Interviews”

aside mine in maine & semi-story of another; as opposed to an interview:
I was trapped in Maine
in a city and not town in Maine (again).
I was told that here in Maine that there
are no suburbs here just towns and cities
I took the greyhound had to get off to visit
a town or city really that was the evil hole
that you can’t imagine but that I mind.
A few towns ago–
I met a man at a food pantry
provider which I already may have described
in these writings, who
told me about his childhood with his
great aunt + great uncle.
He said
that his great uncle used to work him
or rather that he worked for his great
uncle and received a weekly allowance
of $5.00 per week. (He lived there
from age 9 to age 18.) The People here
in Maine tell me (the locals)
that I’ve asked that they only live and
stay in Maine; not because they
like it, but because this is …

An elderly lady at the Diner I’m eating
well; not eating; I can’t afford that;
drinking tea at all night, (which
didn’t turn into that, since they
kicked me out sort of); and caught up
on this writing as quickly as I could,
given the circumstances; I have no idea
why I inserted ‘just kidding’ after the
‘caught up’ in my notes; perhaps I thought
I couldn’t possibly ‘catch up’; how much can
you really record or note; the rest of just
happens; and you have to hope you are just
enough for it to happen the Right Way. Because otherwise
you have to invent a way to go back in Time, and still
exist enough to be able to do that. And when you go
back in time, you will still have gone back in
Time to ‘fix it’; and it will be too late, because
you never did ‘the right way’ in the first place.
So maybe you will ‘fix it’ but me personally,
I aim only for the ‘right’ in the first place;
and if I’m not doing right in the first place;
I suffer immensely until I am; just a personal of
development; call me crazy.

Anyway, I swear I don’t remember this, but
my notes say; though I vaguely remember her.
Though my notes say, she told me that her
family; all women with her at the table were
feeding her too much; (meanwhile I was
close to starving, and without shelter
for the night myself; not to mention;
it was very cold; but somehow I don’t
remember if it was still snowing; perhaps
the snow had melted away or something;
don’t know); and that they had given her
even more candy so that she would gain
even more weight. But who knows at that point
after a weird event of passage and trapped
for the night without shelter; I could
have temporarily become delusional or
“not with it”. As she leaned over to me;
to tell me this; her daughter, one of them,
didn’t like it; and as they were leaving that
same daughter handed me a card with her information
on it; so that I could contact her in case I needed
help. She’s a case manager? Sorry, but people like
her and their over-population is why I left
the counseling, and related occupations of training;
their lack of empathy stings and also stinks.
That is, mind you I did not ask those people
for help; and had I had self-esteem problems,
or been experiencing tremendous fear at that
situation of not having shelter or money for the
night; uhm, I might have had a break down;
but those are not my issues at hand, my
issues at hand seem several at time being;
and one of them still is as notes of mine
here declare pointing to stinging un-empathetic
“helping professionals” and asking that
helping actually mean helping. Even if only
one being in the Universe literally is a
trained and qualified helping professional. Anyway,
I handed her card back, thanked her for it; and
explained to her what I was doing. One of her
sisters shook her head “no” as the “case manager”
had handed me her card.


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